My Language of Attraction Review – Why You Should & Shouldn’t Get It

Language of Attraction Review - Screenshot of Language of Attraction Product

NOTICE: This review is my own opinion of the Language of Attraction program after purchasing and going through it myself. It contains affiliate links.

Language of Attraction Review - Screenshot of Language of Attraction Product

HAVE YOU EVER run out of things to say?

And then things get awkward and you decide to check out of the conversation your in

Afterwards you scratch your head and ask yourself why?

It’s one of a mans greatest concerns… to run out of things to say. Then we eject ourselves because we feel like were not good enough, or we feel shame at some point.

But guys that are good with women don’t feel this. And they don’t fall into this trap

The truth is that not knowing what to say, not just not having anything to say, will kill your chances with women. Because she will run the conversation if you don’t and she wont talk herself into being attracted to you.

So how do you solve the problem?

Matt Artisan has a lot of ideas on not only what to say, but how to make what you do say, the best so she will be attracted to you and want to see more of you in his Language of Attraction program.

Language of ATtraction Review - The program

What is the Language of Attraction Program (LOA) in one sentence

LOA is a program that is aimed at increasing your conversation skills, that teaches how to use conversation to build a connection and attraction with a woman as well as generally being more of a likable person.

LOA in more detail

This training isn’t about being a player, or notching your belt, it’s about meeting great women and having a great time with them. Making them feel great and giving them what they want.

I think that this suits guys who are looking to meet miss right because you do need to meet women to meet miss right. And this program shows you how to do that (and gives you the confidence to do it)

As far as how is the program delivered goes, LOA is pretty much Matt talking over a PowerPoint. The audios are the audio recording of the video. The cheat sheets are the main points or examples in a PDF form.

The sections are long and are about an hour each (sometimes more) so there is plenty of content.

And the content is quite good. The examples and conversations starters are good. So are the games he gives you to play.

During the program, Matt does talk a lot about you going out and practicing. So you probably should have some experience beforehand. Or be able to go out and do it. Which can be a bit of a big deal for some guys.

There isn’t much in the program about where to practice or how to practice. So if you are at the stage that you cannot meet women yet then this program might be one to visit in future.

What you get…

  • The Language of Attraction Program (Video and Audio, with presentation PDF’s)
  • Cheat sheets
  • Bonuses
    1. Jared Lawrence On Talking To Girls At Bars & Clubs
    2. Josiah Prise On Relating & Never Running Out Of Things To Say
    3. Sexualizing The Conversation

Who is Matt Artisan?

Matt Artisan is a dating coach. He has a plethora of experience and has taught many guys techniques on how to meet and talk to women.

In this program is relatable and his experience really shines through in the way he talks.

In the Language of Attraction, he comes across as a guy who likes to talk and is happy to share.

If your wondering what Matt’s ‘style’ is, he is a ‘meet girls during the day, direct approaching and even hopeless romantic’ type of guy.

Some guys might be put off by this, but you are better knowing now than later. This ‘style’ works for some guys, but not all.

PROS

The cheat sheets

They are a quick way to remind yourself what you should be doing. With examples

They are great before you walk out the door, or print them and take them with  you when you have a minute to brush up. Or just hold them out in front of a girl if you have the balls for it.

Plenty of examples and stories

I like the fact that Matt introduces concepts as stories, typically things that have happened to him.

Really Good insights

Matt has a real passion for trying to help men gain confidence and help them with women and you can tell the way that he talks.

He does talk with stories and examples, he also does give plenty of his stuff away in this.

Some of the things in the program are kind of common sense. But i guess it depends on your experience.

CONS

Advice can be a little confusing for beginners

Sometimes it can be a little confusing. Especially where advice is given that isn’t concrete. I.e. it isn’t the same all the time. There are exceptions which may confuse.

I also felt like at stages, there hasn’t been as much preparation as their could have been. Ideas and concepts aren’t fully conceptualized in the program. That they could have been made simpler or easier to follow. When things aren’t concrete i think that it does make it more confusing, especially for beginners without much previous knowledge.

A little spiritual / self-helpy at times

At times in the program, Matt talks about self help concepts (affirmations, morning routines, etc.). This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It’s not a huge part of the program, but it is there.

Some things are a little tough to ‘take action’ on

Like being ‘in the moment’ it’s hard to ‘use’ that. It’s also hard to know if you are doing it. And it’s hard to follow if you are new to going out and meeting women. Because you do need to think about what your going to say etc.

So it can be a little confusing if your thinking ‘what should i focus on’

Some of the exercises you need more than one person, which might be hard for some. They aren’t the kind of thing that you’d do with a girl that you met either.

Extras

Jared Lawrence on talking to girls at bars & clubs

Jared reveals the real difference between day and night game and the biggest impacts that the two have on meeting and talking to women.

You will learn:

  • The 5 states that she needs to feel to be attracted to you
  • An easy way to start flirting (that might even get you a free drink)
  • What flirting is and what it is not
  • The vibe that you need to avoid giving off to girls at night
  • What to do when you try to advance too quickly to save your interaction

Josiah Prise on relating & never running out of things to say

Josiah talks about how to keep the conversation going through dissecting the different parts and elements of communication.

You will learn:

  • The 3 pronged system to use to always have something to say
  • The types of questions to use to get her to start being emotional
  • The easiest way to make the standard ‘job interview type’ questions, fun
  • The question you can ask a girl in basically any situation to get her to think about times she felt great
  • What you have to do (that most guys don’t) to raise your success rate when meeting girls during the day

Sexualizing the conversation

Matt Artisan talks about how to move things forward quickly in a conversation, and get her to think about you more as a love interest than a friend

You will learn:

  • What not to do when you are talking about sexual things
  • How to get her permission to ask any sexual question you want
  • What NOT to do when she starts getting sexual in the conversation
  • What you can say at any time to bring up sexual topics
  • How to demonstrate your sexual expertise right in front of her (in a way that’s safe to do around others)

My opinion on LOA:

Overall I like this program. I think that it is an honest, and straightforward way for guys to get some cannon fodder for meeting women and talking.

The Techniques are relatively simple to follow, and won’t take long to get right when your mid conversation with that beautiful brunette.

Matt is a guy who meets women during the day, so if your looking for fun party stuff then this may not be the program for you, however, if you are trying to dodge the party scene and you want to have something to say to the woman waiting at the lights, or walking by the shops, at the library, supermarket etc. then this program contains great information. And i would recommend it for you.

You can get the program here, and if you have any questions about it, then please contact me here.

How to be Confident with Women & 2 Tips to Hack Your Self-Esteem

How to be confident with women - Guy talking to a group of girls doing cheers motion

How to be confident with women - Guy talking to a group of girls doing cheers motion

IF YOU ARE LIKE many guys trying to get better with women, you may think that all you need to appear more confident is do more:

  • Say more stuff to her
  • Have more techniques to approach her
  • Have more pickup lines

Unfortunately, talking too much is the perfect way to turn her off. A woman can always sense when you are over talking because you are nervous.

Why are guys nervous in the presence of women?

It is amazing how relaxed you are around your colleagues and friends, but the moment a pretty girl shows up, you are completely intimidated. Some of the reasons why guys clam up when they are in the presence of girls include:

Putting her on a pedestal

If many guys were to be honest, beautiful girls intimidate them because they (guys) put the girl on a pedestal before they even know her.

They feel as if the girl is a goddess and that they have to prove themselves and impress. Thinking like this will put a lot of pressure on a guy who thinks he always has to impress her and get her to like him.

The cure

Some will say that simply thinking this way ridiculous and you should try to talk yourself out of it. But from my experience this doesn’t work. The cure here is to meet (and date) more beautiful women. So that one exposure to a pretty woman isn’t as much of a big deal.

Being too hard on yourself

Many guys’ worst enemy is their own opinions about themselves.

You have a constant stream of thoughts that point out how less than perfect you are. You dwell on how you aren’t good looking; how you have physical flaws that need to be fixed; how you are a loner; that you have never kissed a girl; and that you are a loser…..

If you are too hard on yourself, you become insecure and eventually sabotage any chance you may have to be confident with girls.

The cure

While confidence and personality are more attractive to a girl than the things you are dwelling on. And you should consider for a minute that your looks and accomplishments probably don’t matter to a girl nearly as much as you think they do.

It’s hard to actually put in place. But I do have one way to fix this which is a bit of a weird one but it worked for me. Ready…

Create a different personality.

Yep. Instead of simply having you. Have different “you’s”. For instance if your name is John, you now have everyday “John”. And also “Good Time John”.

Everyday you is kinda shy around new people. He does his work and takes care of business at home, at work etc.

Good Time John goes out at night and has fun. He foremost interest is in having a good time and people who want to have a good time.

This is an overly simple explanation, but the theory behind it has helped me personally in many ways.

How to be confident with women - Guy singing karaoke with women
Singing can be seen as a sign you are confident… even if you are not a great singer

How to be confident around women

Everyone has their insecurities.

Being confident around beautiful women is not about never feeling insecure. It is about being comfortable in your own skin, and not allowing your insecurities get in the way of your pursuing girls that you are attracted to.

All confidence is acquired and developed. No man is born with confidence.

One big misconception by men that sabotages their efforts is that men have to do something to get the girl. Whether that is impress or talk or demonstrate something, etc.

Truly confident guys know that they DO NOT have to do anything. That it will happen naturally.

Analyze and destroy your self-sabotaging beliefs

Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. If you have been struggling with feeling confident around girls, it only makes sense to see what scares you and where it comes from.

For instance, let’s say you have approach anxiety. Have you ever stopped to contemplate why you have it? Why should it be so hard to walk up and say ‘hi?’

Maybe in the back of your mind you think that people are out to get you because you were abused or bullied in your past. Or perhaps you are scared by women because your mother smothered you as a child and you always feel inferior around girls.

If you taketime to conduct a thorough analysis, you would possibly realize that most of your anxiety has nothing to do with the girl standing in front of you.

Instead it comes from experiences at various stages of your youth and adolescence. If you objectively examined what went wrong and sought for ways to deal with your past situations, you would move forward in your dating life.

Manage your expectations

Many guys fear to go to women out of fear of rejection. They are insecure, and they take rejection too seriously. Expecting to always score a date or a relationship after approaching a girl is putting way too much pressure on yourself.

Change your mindset. The worst thing that a girl can do is to say no.

The first thing you need to realize is that rejection is not personal and it may be as a result of things you have absolutely no control over.

Regardless of your game or lack thereof, many times you will be rejected. Rejection is not meaningful until you empower it.

Also, do not put too much meaning into your interaction with her. Would you care if a random guy you did not know decided that he did not particularly like you? Then, why do you allow the opinion of a girl you have only briefly interacted with matter so much to you?

Treat an attractive girl the same casual way you would treat a friend or an unattractive girl.

Do not pedestalize the girl

The ability to take a girl off the pedestal is the difference between being successful with girls and being unsuccessful.

Treating the girl you are attracted to like a regular person and not like an idol is critical to your success. Treat her with dignity and respect her, but do not let her hold power over you while you grovel at her feet.

As stated above the best way to cure this is to meet more women. The more interactions you have, the less important each one becomes.

Take it one step at a time

The idea of approaching a woman and carrying out a conversation beyond the initial ‘hi’ can be daunting for many guys. However, you can gain confidence in your conversation skills through practice.

Start by saying hi’ to women as you walk down the street. You don’t even have to start a conversation; just smile, say ‘hi’ and don’t break your stride.

This may sound all too simple but make a habit of it. Get friendly with the girls you regularly see; at the coffee shop, the fast food place, the library. Make a few remarks as you order: get them to make a suggestion and engage them in a brief chat. With time, you will get comfortable talking to women, and you will build some confidence.

Gradually start to throw out some banter and then seek to further the interaction by making the conversation personal. Within no time, you will find that you can build sexual tension.

The point is always seeking to build your skills by taking your next interaction a step further than the previous one. Keep at this, and you will be confidently talking to women in no time.

Just go for it

When you want to approach a woman, you probably find yourself hesitating.

Unfortunately, when you hesitate, your mental barrier kicks into place. It becomes even harder to approach the girl. The longer you think about whether you should approach a girl or not, the more anxious you will feel. As such, you need to act more upon that first impulse.

Your first impulse is your best shot at actually approaching and talking to a girl. All the thinking that you do after the initial intention to approach only serves to scare you.

If you don’t move fast, you will either talk yourself out of approaching the girl or do it awkwardly. If you wait to feel utterly confident to approach a girl, the chances are that it will never happen. Give yourself a few seconds and get your feet moving towards the girl.

Momentum is an incredible thing. It is hard to get moving, but once you start moving, it is hard to stop.

One last tip

Do you still need some extra push to gain confidence? You can use affirmations before approaching the girl. Tell yourself something positive:

The outcome doesn’t matter; I am sexy; women enjoy talking to me.

Have a few affirmations that resonate with you to get motivated to get out there and do it.

The final approach

The beauty with approaching women is that there is so much you are in control of:

  • You decide whom to approach
  • Your attitude towards the girl
  • Where you are comfortable approaching
  • How long you want the interaction to last
  • How you treat the outcome of the interaction

When you realize how much power you have over the situation, you will feel empowered and much more confident to approach girls.

Do not give your power away by pedestalizing the girl, looking down upon yourself and assigning too much meaning to rejection.

How to Flirt with a Girl You Like

How to flirt with a girl you like - girl walking on a beach

How to flirt with a girl you like - girl walking on a beach

MAYBE SHE IS…

  • A friend of a friend
  • Someone you have seen around at school or work
  • Or a gorgeous girl you have just seen strolling by the beach

You psych yourself up, find the courage to approach her and initiate a conversation…

You get off to a good start: she is receptive, she is smiling and nodding.

However, a few minutes in, you can feel the energy plateau. And just like that, she excuses herself saying that she is waiting for a friend and she has to make a call.

What just happened?

Flirting

Flirting is a low-risk method of initiating a conversation with a girl you are attracted to. The goal here is for her to want to spend more time with you. Flirting does this by being fun, playful and creating an enjoyable experience.

A side benefit is that flirting creates sexual tension which can make the girl instantly attracted to you.

It also communicates that you are confident, trustworthy and have something to offer, which is essential.

The art of flirting

A guy who has mastered flirting has the ability to seduce a girl without saying a word.

To flirt successfully, there are two conversations taking place simultaneously: the verbal and nonverbal. Many guys fail at flirtation because they emphasize on the verbal, while it is the nonverbal that is more important.

Did you know: Flirting is also crucial for long-lasting relationships?

Flirting is not only helpful in initiating dating, but it also helps partners to remain interesting to each other. It also helps to avoid getting trapped in a rut even after they have been in a relationship for a long time.

If you want to hone your flirting skills, consider the following suggestions.

Approach the girl

This may seem like an easy step, but it is where many guys fail.

Approaching the girl is the most challenging part of initiating contact. Some guys get stuck in their head, and instead of psyching themselves up, they end up thinking about all the reasons why the girl may not want to talk to them.

So, before you can convince yourself otherwise, you just have to walk up to the girl.

The safest way to approach

How do you determine whether the girl is open to your approach?

Make eye contact with her, and smile a couple of times. If she reciprocates, she is giving you an invitation to come over. You can then walk up to her.

LINK: More information on approaching girls

In any case, approach her anyway. You have nothing to lose. A few words and a few minutes are all you need to know if she is interested in you or not.

How to flirt with a girl you like - guy and girl fliring in a library

Body language

If you are interested in a girl, you want to make sure you do not give off any signs of nervousness or discomfort.

Ensure your body is relaxed, your hands are visible, and your demeanor is pleasant. Bear in mind that you can say a lot with your body language, so ensure you say all the right things.

Above all, learn how to create sexual tension with body language.

Eye contact

The basic technique of any flirting is eye contact. Eye contact is a strong gesture, it can communicate many different things: trust, charisma, loyalty, contempt.

When you meet a girl’s gaze, do not lower your eyes; look at her for a while and then look away. A good rule of the thumb for eye contact is 1-2 seconds before looking away.

You can also use the ‘staring competition’ tactic. This happens when you are flirting with a girl, and you look into her eyes, and then she happens to look at you, and your eyes meet up. The question is: who will look away first?

You should not be the one to look away first; this is a sign of submission. But as soon as she looks away, break the eye contact as well or you will appear creepy.

The smile

Smiling is one of the easiest ways to make a girl know that you are interested in her. However, some experts indicate that a huge, gleaming, pearly, white smile might communicate desperation.

They instead recommend a smirk. A smirk is the standard smile’s seductive brother.  Remember, everything you do must have a sexual undertone. You want to be James Bond, not Jim Carrey.

Gentle touches

The touch is one of the most powerful forms of romantic communication. You must calibrate your touch depending on the emotional distance between you and the girl.

Touch ranges from a handshake, a pat on the shoulder, a light push, a hug from the side, to a full hug. So, look for opportunities to touch the girl lightly, sometimes accidentally.

Some examples are:

  • Shake hands when you first introduce yourself
  • Place your hands on her arms to gently move her because someone is passing
  • Tap her arm lightly when sharing a laugh
  • Put your hand on her lower back while guiding her through ahead of you
  • Push her if she teases you back

Give the girl compliments

Giving a girl compliments is one of the easiest ways of flirting with her. An effective compliment simply means picking something that you like about the girl and telling her you to like it. All you need to do is to ensure that you are genuine about it.

  • I saw you over here and just had to tell you that I like your style.

(Revealing that you noticed the girl will make her feel good about herself and like you more)

  • Your eyes are gorgeous.

(This one will work best if you say it with enthusiasm and excitement)

  • I love your jacket.

(This is a good one for initiating touch. Touching her arm lightly is a safe option)

The trick to giving compliments is to avoid being too generous with them because then you will not sound sincere. Also, ensure your compliments are not generic.

Teasing the girl

One of the most efficient ways to get a girl’s attention is by teasing her. However, ensure that you do not go overboard or the girl will feel insulted.

  • Are you trying to break the world shopping record?
  • Your fur coat made me think of a bear……… did you kill it yourself?
  • I like your smile, but I think you have something in your teeth (only use when she has something in her teeth)
  • You’re from Canada? Is it true that Canadians keep a bottle of maple syrup on them at all times?

The secret with teasing a girl is not even what you say, as much as how you say it.

If you are not sure you can deliver teases neatly, avoid them altogether. Otherwise, she might find them insulting

Flip the ‘frame’

In the natural progression of relationships, the guy is supposed to chase the girl and prove to her that he is worthy of being chosen by her.  But these days it’s important that you also see yourself as the ‘prize’.

Increase your value and make the girl qualify herself; of course, all this is done in a flirt.

For instance, you can invite the girl over for a movie and popcorn but only if she promises not to touch you.

This may appear to be counter-intuitive, but it works very well because you communicate with a girl that she needs to work for you because you are ‘of value’.

  • You look like trouble!
  • You are not one of those stalker types: are you?
  • Let us take this slowly…. I do not want to get hurt.
  • Hey, my eyes are up here *point to face*. (For when you catch her looking down – even at the ground)

Bridging (the new ‘close’)

Closing is what salespeople call going in for the sale. And some dating experts call going for the phone number ‘a close’.

But the truth is that you never really ‘close’ in relationships. Closing is finishing and you want to see her again (otherwise you probably wouldn’t be reading this). So instead you want to create a bridge to the next interaction

If everything has gone according to plan up to this point, the girl is probably waiting for you to ask for her number. Go ahead and do exactly that.

This is important! It lets her know that you are genuinely interested. She also thinks of it as testing your reliability.

If you are feeling good about the interaction you will have no problem asking for her number:

  • Tell her you enjoyed the interaction but you have to leave
  • Tell her that you should do this again sometime
  • Ask for her number / or suggest a date
  • Smile

Maggie, this has been so much fun, and we should do it again sometime, but I have to leave … I just need your number before I go. Smile.

Advanced Bridging

The best way I found was to bring up things that I or she likes doing or am going to do in the near future.

If I found that the topic of running was one we both clicked with, then I would maybe find out what time of the week she runs. Then I’d invite her to do it together. In a fun, flirty way.

  • ‘We should run together, I’m always looking for someone to hold my drink bottle.’
  • ‘I think I would run better with someone chasing me’

Don’t base your invitation around advice. Either asking for or giving her advice when you are bridging.

Women don’t like that. It’s more of a man thing. Instead, as in the examples, let her know that time with you will be full of fun and adventure.

Finally,

Like any other skill, flirtation demands practice. The more you flirt, the more your confidence grows. You do not have to wait to flirt with girls that you are attracted to. Whenever the opportunity arises, walk up to a woman, make contact, talk to her for a bit and watch your confidence grow.

You are also making the world a better place, one smile at a time.

With time, you will realize that you can be yourself in the presence of a gorgeous woman, and not only have a conversation with her but also flirt your way to attraction. Happy flirting!

How To Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend – 8 Tips to Help You Move On

How to get over your ex girlfriend - man feeling good about life in outdoor setting

YOU HAD AMAZING unforgettable experiences together and you love everything about her….

There’s just one problem; she has told you that it’s over. You start wondering how things got this far.

If it is of any consolation, even the best guys will sometimes mess up with a girl they love and make her run. The good news is that she does not equal happiness. And one day, you will be glad that you went through this, because it made you a better man.

The probable causes for losing your woman

If you can’t get over a girl, this is the clearest indication that you dropped the ball in a big way.

However, are you aware of precisely what it is you did that messed up your relationship?

Experts in relationship repair say that many guys always think that one blow up conversation ended things. There was a big fight, you said some stupid things, and she left.

You could not be further from the truth; if you think that a single conversation drove your girlfriend out, you are deluded. It was not the one text: the one argument; the mischosen words. It was a culmination of how you have been treating her.

  • She started feeling like you did not want her. This one happens a lot. If at some point you stopped putting in as much effort and probably started ignoring, her that is where you lost her.
  • She started feeling hurt, disrespected and insulted. This is one is common with guys who are insensitive and trying to manifest their ‘bad boy’ qualities. If you keep making a girl feel ugly and inadequate around you, you will lose her faster than you can imagine.

Whichever it was, the damage is done, it’s time to learn and move on…

1. Get yourself together

The end of your relationship can make you feel worse than just about anything else. You must realize that you will go through periods of grief namely:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Negotiation
  • Depression         
  • Acceptance    

If you want to succeed, do not panic. Get yourself together and do not do anything stupid. Remember, any girl would never want to be with you when you are in a state of anger, rage, self-pity or despair.

It is during the first three stages that you are likely to lose control of your will power by:

  • Begging and asking for pit
  • Feeling lonely although you have friends
  • Thinking your ex is going to solve all your problems if she decides to get back with you
  • Disrespecting your ex and calling her names
how to get over your ex girlfriend - man going out alone
Doing things by yourself is a good way to create some distance from your ex girlfriend and give yourself some perspective on your life

2. Create distance

You may think that you can be friends with your ex. If you think this, then here is a small section just for you.

Give your girlfriend some space and time. Experts talk about a ’no contact’ rule during which you do not speak to your girlfriend for a period of time.

Not being in contact with her for that long will be tough and it will hurt, but it will certainly give you room for reflection and help you to cool down your temper. Staying away from your girlfriend will:

  • Help you avoid looking needy and insecure. Bear in mind that neediness and insecurity are the biggest attraction killers.
  • Give you time to learn more about how to get your ex-friend back.
  • Give her the time and opportunity to realize how amazing you actually are, to miss you, and realize that she really lost a friend.
  • Create ‘fear of loss’ in your ex-girlfriend, and she might start second-guessing her decision.

Staying away from her increases your chances of getting her back.

3. What should you do if she contacts you

The ‘No contact’ rule does not mean that your girlfriend cannot reach out to you. Indeed, if she calls, this is excellent for this situation.

If you follow the plan and stay away from your ex-girlfriend, it is likely that the fear of losing you will make her contact you. However, when you pick her calls, or she visits you:

  • Let her lead the conversation
  • Make sure to act happy and cheerful
  • Make sure you keep the conversation short
  • End the conversation first. Say something like:
      • I am going out with a friend, I will call you later
      • It was nice talking to you, but I have to…………..
  • Take time to call her back. Do not be eager to call her; wait at least a day.

The dont’s when your girlfriend contacts you.

Do not:

  • Act angry and depressed
  • Be immature, telling her how many women you are sleeping with
  • Talk about the relationship at all
  • Ask her whether she is dating or sleeping with someone else
  • Beg her to give you another chance

If she does not contact you, you will contact her at the end of the ‘no contact’ four week’s period

4. Be honest about why the relationship broke up

If you hope to build a healthy relationship with your ex-girlfriend ever again, you must admit that you messed up. Have you been treating her right, or have you:

  • Been neglecting her, either subtly by not listening to her, or by disrespecting her?
  • Were you perhaps insecure and jealous?
  • Might you have been manipulative and controlling?
  • Did you cheat on her?

Whatever it is you were doing, you might have thought that you were getting away with it but were not. The things she shrugged off from day to day built to a crescendo and she decided that she deserved to be treated better.

5. Take time to build yourself up

Working on your inner demons. So, hit the gym, take some classes, and revive your passions and hobbies.

Take time and learn the tools and skills of keeping a healthy relationship and increase your level of awareness. This should not be a wasted opportunity; ensure you work on making yourself better.

The misconception

One of the biggest mistakes that guys make is thinking that they have nothing to change about themselves. This is a huge lie. No matter how many girls are drooling over you, you must continually strive towards becoming a better version of yourself.

6. Do not dwell on the breakup

Talk about the good times and great memories and what changed in your lives after the breakup.

7. Discuss everything: even the difficult subject

Do not avoid the difficult topics. Anything that you do not deal with conclusively will remain the elephant in the room. This is an opportunity to deal with all those things that you previously buried under the rag.

8. Move forward

A real gentleman learns from his mistakes, accepts his past, and moves on. Do not dwell on the mistakes you made in your earlier relationship with your ex-girlfriend. You cannot change the past.

And the truth is sometimes you have to make mistakes in a relationship to learn. It’s simply learning ‘the hard way.’

Not the final goodbye

Thanks for reading this guide on how to get over your ex girlfriend. If you have any questions you can contact me here.

How to Approach a Woman – The 7 Traits of a Successful Single Man

How to approach a girl - A girl

How to approach a girl - A girl sitting at a resteraunt

“HOW DO I APPROACH A WOMAN?” IS  probably the most common question asked by single guys everywhere.

The answer to successfully approaching a woman exists in your attitude.

And when I say attitude, I also mean your mindset/outlook/ethos.

It is your attitude when trying to attract a woman that determines how much success you will have. And this is where many guys go wrong; they try to figure out the appropriate pickup line, the perfect body language, or the classic joke.

Forget all that.

The only thing that matters when approaching a woman you like is your attitude. Develop the right attitude, and it will not matter how old, broke, fat, or intelligent you are.

As long as you have the wrong attitude: you think she is better than you, you feel that you do not deserve her, and doubt your abilities to attract her, you stand no chance.

Now is the time to get into the right mindset, get out there, and start meeting those remarkable women.

1. Confidence

Confidence is a strong presence and purpose in a guy that is often contagious.

Scientifically, confidence plays into women’s desire to want to mate with the leader of a pack. When a guy is confident, he makes those around him feed off his energy and feel empowered. Confidence draws girls in because it communicates that you are a guy worth liking.

The girl wants you to take the lead, but you cannot lead without confidence. If you have ever asked a girl ‘Where would you like to go?’ Most probably, you received the answer, ‘I don’t know. Why don’t you pick somewhere?’ In other words, she wants you to lead, even if she will probably never tell you.

Women want a man who can make plans and reach a decision. Even if she disagrees with your decision, she will tell you, but she will always respect that you take the lead.

From asking the girl out to making a move, to initiating sex… it will be your job to lead.

Remember, fortune respects the bold.

2. Conviction

Conviction is powerful. When you are approaching a girl, you must believe that you deserve her and you can win her over. Many guys are very good at coming up with excuses not to approach attractive girls:

  • She probably has a boyfriend.
  • She’s out of my league
  • I don’t want to make a fool of myself
  • She is probably sick of guys hitting on her

If you are not convinced that you can win girls over, you will always stand in the way of meeting amazing women.

There a huge difference between thinking, ‘I am the prize’ and ‘I am not good enough for the girl.’

One writer noted that the men of the previous generations when narrating how they met their wives always say something like:

“I noticed her in a local charity event in the neighborhood. I had never seen her before, but she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She just lit up the room. I knew there, and then that I was going to marry her……’

This is the conviction that we are talking about. Having this kind of self-assurance that you are worthy of the girl is great. It gives you the confidence that you need to approach any girl and tell her how you feel.

3. Respect

Many guys think that women want to be with bad guys, but they could not be further from the truth. Girls are attracted to a man who shows them respect.

Some guys are yet to realize that yelling across the street, grabbing girls to dance and harassing them in public does not earn their attraction.

In fact here are some counter-intuitive ways that will show her you respect her and get her attention…

Apologize

When you approach a girl, apologize for bothering her before you say anything else. “Pardon me for interrupting…” “Excuse me, but…”

Introduce yourself

The next step is to introduce yourself so that she knows who you are. Do not launch into a speech you have planned before at least introducing yourself. “My name is Tom and I ….”

Choose your compliments wisely

The easiest way to make a girl feel insulted is by commenting on her body. Choose you compliments wisely otherwise, you will end up sounding like a jerk and offending the girl.

TIP – Comment on something she has done/chosen/earned. “I couldn’t help but notice the way you…”

Accept her decision

At any point during your interaction with a girl, you may be met with resistance. If she says no, do not be rude or mean about it. Tell her it was nice meeting her and be on your way.

Approach a woman with respect because if she respects herself, she is not going to accept anything less from you.

4. Mystery

Mystery brings excitement, uncertainty, and anticipation. Do not be a predictable guy doing what every other guy out there is doing. Be spontaneous and add some mystery to your ways.

If you are mysterious, it also eliminates the risk of coming across as needy or desperate. Surprising the girl with unexpected gestures will make her attracted to you.

Also, do not lay it all on the table during your first meeting with a girl. Keep a little to yourself so that you can intrigue her and make her want to know more about you. You should always send the message that there is more to you than meets the eye.

5. Loyalty

Many guys cannot keep themselves from flirting with every girl around them. You are eyeing a particular girl, and yet you are flirting with other women around her. What message are you sending her? That you are not ready for a committed relationship; that you are addicted to the attention; you are selfish, and you will neglect her in future?

How to approach a woman - Many girls at the bar

Do not show attention to other women

If you are clearly interested in a girl, do not give any attention to other women. When a girl realizes that you have eyes only for her, she cannot resist.

You can interact and socialize with other women but if there is a girl you like around, ensure that she gets the message that you only have eyes for her.

If you clearly send this message you can make her feel like the sexiest woman in the room, and she will definitely be interested in you:

  • Do not look other women up and down in front of her.
  • Do not watch other girls walk away
  • Ensure she is an integral part of the conversation
  • Acknowledge her more than the other women around.

6. Authenticity

Unfortunately, a lot of information out there on how to attract women is based on playing games. However, the games always end up more hurtful than attractive and women have become attuned to whether you are being yourself or not.

A girl will be more attracted to you when she is assured of not falling in love with a man who turns out completely different once he feels like he has her in his grip.

7. Patience

Many guys do not know how to hold back their desire for a girl. They come on entirely too strong too fast. They want to speed up their romantic and sexual encounters. Unfortunately, women are more process-oriented, and they are keen on the dates, conversations, and emotions.

Experts say that a guy can decide if he wants to have sex with a girl within a few seconds and he immediately shifts into finish line mode. Girls, on the other hand, take time to decide if they like a man because they take a lot of things into consideration.

In the initial stages, a girl just wants to have a good time. If you throw too much affection too fast, too soon, you will scare her off.

Take your time to ensure a girl is comfortable with you and feels secure before you can broach the subject of intimacy. Your interaction will be more meaningful when you allow it to develop organically.

Finally,

Have the attitude that you are taking a risk, like others that you have taken in other areas of your life. No guy goes ten for ten when approaching women.

This attitude will help you not to take rejection as a judgment on you as a person. If you allow rejection to shatter your self-esteem, you will never find that special woman.

So this is the right attitude when approaching a woman: it is a risk and rejection has nothing to do with you.

It is not your fault. It was probably bad timing, or she was having a bad day, or you probably resembled her nasty boyfriend (Yes, it could happen). Expecting success all the time is setting yourself up for emotional paralysis.

If you are after more information, here is what you can say to a girl you just met, and a few quick tips for shy guys when it comes to meeting women.

I hope this article has answered some of your questions on how to approach a woman.

Dating Tips for Shy Guys – 7 Quick Wins to Help You Get the Girl

Dating tips for shy guys - a shy guy looking at a girl in a cafe

Dating tips for shy guys - a shy guy looking at a girl in a cafe

YOU HAVE A GIRL YOU ARE seriously crushing on, but you cannot muster the courage to get up and meet her. Instead you:

  • Try to figure out if the guy standing to her is her boyfriend
  • Start thinking of an opening line to say to her
  • Get nervous at the thought of looking stupid in front of your friends or getting shot down in front of hers
  • Fear that she will ignore you or worse still, reject you

And then after all the hesitation, guess what happens? The window of opportunity closes, and she goes off somewhere. You are left very frustrated……. until it happens again next time.

The Misconception

A lot of shy guys have a misconception about what it truly means to be an alpha male. Instead of trusting their gut, they have succumbed to their doubts and fears.

“I am broke, short, and ugly. People do not find me interesting.”

Rather than focusing on all their great qualities, shy guys focus only on the negatives. As a result, a guy will keep to himself, hoping to avoid being the center of attention. Unfortunately, even though the guy may have many desirable qualities, they are buried under the layers of his shyness.

The truth of the matter is that you have a lot of offer

So what if you…

  • Do not open up to every person you meet?
  • Don’t compete with other guys just so that you can get your point across?
  • Only open up in the right situation?
  • Are hesitant to jump into a conversation until you have something worthwhile to say?

It’s more normal/average/common than you think

And there is nothing wrong with you.

Being shy is not your identity. It is just one part of who you are. Being shy should not curb your aspirations to date a woman. In fact being shy can sometimes be an asset. You just have to learn how to make it work for you.

Your ‘weakness’ can be your greatest asset. Not every woman is attracted to an arrogant, cocky man.

7 Quick Wins and Dating Tips for Shy Guys

1. Realize that women are just people

Guys place so much pressure on themselves and worry too much about how a girl will perceive them.

When you feel your nerves starting to get the better of you, remind yourself that women are just people. You can be sure that the girl is experiencing a lot of the same insecurities as you and she is just as worried about what you think of her. Do not overthink everything.

Also, there is something surprising about women that you may not know:

They are incredibly forgiving of lame jokes, slips, and blunders…….. As long as they are having fun talking to you. Women do not want perfect; they want fun. So, loosen up and allow yourself room to be less than perfect.

Dating tips for shy guys - a shy guy talking to a girl in a cafe

2. Stack the odds in your favor

Finding and approaching a woman is incredibly difficult for a shy guy. It, therefore, helps if you stack the odds in your favor. Ensure your first impression is impressive.

A woman will notice how you are groomed and how you wear your clothes. Wearing nice clothes also goes a long way in boosting your confidence.

Also, spruce up your wardrobe. You do not have to spend a fortune to look stylish. A few smart casual pieces will improve your wardrobe. Oh, and remember, women always pay attention to your shoes. Always wear something that makes you feel good about yourself rather than what you think every other guy out there is wearing.

3. Play a game you can win

Going to meet girls in clubs is stacking all the decks against you. Why? Women in clubs and bars are hit on all night. Besides, they have their friends in tow. As a result, they are likely to reject a guy who tries to approach them.

Try to meet women in other places: You can try volunteering, attend weddings and other church-related functions or attend your friends’ parties. The point is to minimize competition and increase your confidence.

4. Find common interests

The easiest way to approach a woman is to find common interests. Shared interests take the focus off your attraction and place it somewhere else. The best way to link up with girls with whom you share common interests is to join clubs and groups. When you are in a club or group, doing something you enjoy, you will find it easier to strike up a conversation.

5. Read her signals

Wouldn’t it be nice to know if she is interested in you or not before you approach and start talking to her? Wouldn’t you rather approach a girl already knowing that she has an interest in getting to know you?

We have already established that there are women who like shy guys. However, no matter how much she likes you, a girl will almost never come up and ask for your number.

Unfortunately, it does not work like that.

(She’s testing you to see how much interest you have in her, and she want’s you to prove that by giving her all of your attention – in the form of talking to her)

But if you know what to look out for, a woman will give you subtle signals to show you that she is interested in you.

Unfortunately, research by National Institute of Mental Health shows that men confuse romantic signals of interest with signals of friendship 70% of their time. Research shows that the male brain is simply not hard-wired to pick up on a woman’s subtle cues.

That means you have been walking away from women who are trying to show interest in you

The Signs that a woman is interested in you:

  • She is making ‘long’ eye contact.
  • If you already know each other, she will look for excuses to touch you: a light touch on your hand shoulder and chest. A playful slap on the thigh.
  • She is smiling at you with her eyes.
  • If in a crowded place she will even bump into you by accident to get you to notice her.
  • She constantly places herself close to you: within an earshot or a shoulder tap.

6. Change your outcome

Many guys approach a woman with the intention of getting her phone number, getting a date or making her their girlfriend. They psyche themselves up and become too dependent on the outcome. When things do not go according to plan, the disappointment is astronomical.

But, what if you changed your expectation? What if you focus your mind on building your skills with women? If the woman slips, you will have gained some experience out of the interaction.

Also, since your intention is no longer to get together with the girl, you will appear less needy and, consequently, you will become more attractive.

When you finally score a date with the girl of your dreams do not expect perfection. Do not go out for a date with unrealistic expectations. Your goal should be to have fun together. In due time, you gain the confidence to express your feelings for her.

7. Change the way you view rejection

Many guys make a woman’s response to them to mean something about them personally. If a woman rejects them, they interpret it to mean that they are unattractive and undesirable.

The truth:

  • She may have a boyfriend.
  • She is not interested in meeting new people at this stage of her life.
  • You may not be her type.

When a woman rejects you, it is nothing personal. Be grateful for her feedback: whether it is positive or negative. After all, she doesn’t know you, right?

Finally, consider the following facts

Shyness is not an attribute that you need to distance yourself from. Shyness is humility and modesty and to some women, sexiness.

What you say when you are with a girl doesn’t matter much. Worry less about your words. Focus on your tone. Speak in a positive energy and women will appreciate all you have to say.

So,

Do not avoid social situations. The only way to make them less awkward is to practice them……again and again and again

You can learn social skills. Do not spend time lamenting your weakness: people skills are just that: skills, they can be learned. Do not berate yourself for not having them. Instead set about trying to learn them. There are many resources available for you to learn social skills; starting with the internet.

Thanks for reading this article on dating tips for shy guys. If you have any comments or questions, you can contact me here.

Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend? The Strengths of a Shy Guy When it Comes to Meeting Women

Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend - Man with long term girlfriend at breakfast table

Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend - Man with long term girlfriend at breakfast table

CAN SHY GUYS GET A GIRLFRIEND?

The answer is a resounding YES!

The challenge

The challenge of shy guys finding girlfriends is more an attribute of their beliefs of inadequacies than lack of attraction from the girls. Shy guys feel as if they are at a disadvantage when it comes to finding girlfriends.

Since they are not naturally inclined to chat people up and make small talk with strangers, they believe that their odds of finding girlfriends are much lower than for the more outgoing guys. Shy guys spend so much time stressing over what they cannot do that they completely ignore their strengths.

Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend - Taking selfie togetherShy guys perceive themselves as sexually unattractive

According to the experts, shy guys have limiting beliefs that sabotage their love lives. Even when a shy guy has a thriving career and enjoys financial success, he still does not see himself as sexy. Deep down, he is still not confident that women are sexually attracted to him. This “sexual unattractiveness” is a result of faulty stereotypes. It has little to do with objective reality.

The reality

According to research, 40-60 % of adults self-identify as having some degree of shyness. This statistic proves that shy people are more common than we probably think. Indeed, according to Forbes, 40 % of executives describe themselves as introverts.

The list includes Microsoft`s Bill Gates, Uber investors Warren Buffet and Charles Schwab, Avon`s CEO Andrea Jung, and the late Publishing Mogul Katherine Graham. It has been said that the former US president Barrack Obama might be a shy introvert as well.

If you are shy, remember that you are in good company. And chances are if you do not approach the girl, the next shy guy will.

What if you can use your shyness to your advantage?

Shy guys possess one edge over the outgoing men- they can be mysterious. You have a definite advantage over talkative guys who run their mouths and overwhelm girls, leaving very little to the imagination. Girls are intrigued by you and are willing to spend time with you to unravel the mystery.  Girls feel safe and confident around shy guys. Shy guys are also a girl`s dream conversationalist.

There is nothing inherently wrong with you that would prevent you from meeting and having a great relationship with an amazing girl. With a few well-considered strategies, you can get a healthy, long-lasting relationship going.

Indeed, smart girls know that shy guys are diamonds in the rough.

Research shows that a shy guy may have difficulties initiating a relationship but little trouble maintaining intimacy. Once you have met your dream woman, you are at no significant disadvantage in maintaining the relationship.

Harness your strengths

Contrary to what you think, you have more great qualities that make you attractive to girls than you think.

Guy with girl on holidays

You are a great listener

This is actually what sets you apart from other guys.  You would rather learn from others than share your stories. As long as you listen closely, ask follow up questions and show interest, you will be amazed at how easy it is keeping a conversation with a woman going.

Your not all about you

The fact that you do not always have to be the center of attention is also super attractive to girls.

You are a thinker

It is a known fact that shy guys are also deep thinkers. You are a hot commodity. The fact that you think deeply and critically about life shows you have emotional intelligence and a creative mind, which girls find interesting.

You are mysterious

The fact that you are reserved means that you are full of surprises and conversation with you is never boring. She learns information about your life a little bit at a time. A woman would rather be with a guy with a few secrets up his sleeve, instead of a man who lets everybody know everything about him immediately.

Girls indicate that shy guys are less intimidating. You may not believe this, but girls can be intimidated by guys. An introverted guy who does not ooze obnoxious confidence is more enjoyable to be around.

Use your body

Just because you are not good at flirting verbally does not mean that you cannot flirt. Do you slouch when you walk? Do you awkwardly shove your hands into your pockets? This body language is counterproductive to your efforts at finding a girl.

Purpose to build a strong, confident body language and you will begin to feel more confident. Ensure you smile.  Smiling makes you feel less anxious and more positive.

Body Language

Learn to speak in the vocabulary of your body language. While other guys are busy rattling off cheesy pickup lines, you should be busy giving her a friendly smile, and she will notice.

Once you have worked on your body language, dress for success. The right sense of style can give you an added boost to help you project confidence. A strong sense of style will help you make a great first impression, which can open the door to a girl wanting to know more about you.

Have you heard of power posing?

According to research, holding your body in poses that occupy space floods your brain with powerful chemicals that help to lower stress and increase confidence. Projecting strength is possible even when you feel anxious and nervous: upright posture, controlled gestures, a leveled brow, a focused gaze, a low vocal pitch and minimal fillers.

Take baby steps

When you set out to find a girlfriend, do not expect to master the art overnight. Start small and then expand your comfort zone a little every day.

Drop the habits that keep you isolated, lonely and antisocial

Stop playing video games: ditch the computer and exchange it for human interaction. Here are some examples of groups you could join:

  • Bible discussion groups
  • Groups and clubs
  • Salsa dance classes

Start approaching girls: simply push your comfort zone a little at a time. It will be nerve-wracking at first, but you will slowly build your confidence.

  • Start with asking directions: “kindly point me out to the nearest Starbucks.”
  • Then move on to asking girls for their opinions in a department store. Approach a girl and ask them for a female’s opinion: “Hey, can you help me out? I need a girl`s opinion. Between these two shirts, which one is better?”

Be consistent

You will feel awkward, nervous, and uncomfortable and sometimes you will be scared. Comfort will never get you a girlfriend. Discomfort is good. Do not run away from your discomfort.

Instead, make it your campus. Allow your discomfort to lead you to an amazing girlfriend. Discomfort tells you that you are headed in the right direction. Keep moving.

Start where you are comfortable

Do not make it hard when it can be easy. Start with your places of comfort and then you can expand once you have gained the confidence. The strategy is to expose yourself in places where you can be yourself: where the quiet, reserved, kind, compassionate person like you can be noticed.

You will probably be more comfortable approaching girls in parks, quiet streets, and libraries than at clubs, crowded events and concerts and parties. Spiritual communities, volunteer organizations, and cooking classes are some of the forums where you can hope to meet girls who share your values, lifestyles and personal energy.

The wrong environment leads to horrible results because you feel horrible in that environment.

Stop thinking about how to meet any girl. Think about how to meet a girl who is right for you. In your quest to meet a girlfriend, it is crucial that you put yourself in situations where you can meet girls who you are compatible with. If you are shy and introverted, there is every likelihood that the girls you meet in nightclubs and ‘single people events’ will not be compatible with you.

Make your dating life an expansion of your social life

The best way to date without stress is to make your dating an extension of your social life. For instance, being introduced to a girl by a friend is still one of the many ways guys get to meet girls. It removes all the nervousness of meeting a stranger for the first time on your part and settles issues of security for her.  And you already have something in common: mutual friends.

Finally,

Do not give up when you do not get the progress you hope for. And here is the truth: it will not always feel good. Girls will sometimes flake on you; you will not always get the kiss you hope for, and you might even be rejected …..And it sucks.

But,

All these experiences are necessary for your growth. There are no ups without downs. And there are lessons in the valley just as there are on the mountain.  Do not allow relapses to sabotage your success. Fix your eye on the prize and keep moving. You have what it takes to get a girlfriend…. But only if you persevere.

Thanks for reading this guide on Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend – The strengths of a shy guy when it comes to meeting women. If you have a comment or question, you can contact me here.

“How to Know if You Like Someone?” – The 7 Tell-Tale Signs You Want More Than Her Friendship

How to Tell if You Like Someone - Two people sitting close to each other

How to Know if You Like Someone - Two people sitting close to each other

IT MAY SOUND STRANGE TO SAY that you do not know whether you like someone or not. ..

But the truth is that you can be completely ignorant of the fact that you have developed feelings for someone else.  Experts say that this happens the most with someone you have known for a long time.

Luckily, your body has some sneaky ways of tipping you off when you have romantic feelings for someone.

Your mind can play tricks on your feelings.

Another reason why it is important to be sure of the nature of the feelings you have for someone else is your very own brain.  Your brain can inhibit you from truly realizing your feelings for another person. For instance, you might be convinced that you cannot possibly have feelings for a certain person because of this or that reason.

Sometimes, you may also think that you have feelings for someone because you are lonely.  When you are lonely, you unconsciously search for companionship.  Maybe you like spending time with a certain individual because you do not want to be alone.

Explore your hidden feelings.

There are many signs that literally scream: ‘Hey, you like that girl!’  The trick is to pull down your blinders and examine how you truly feel about her.  And you must be willing to be completely honest with yourself.

Keep an eye on these telltale signs the next time you aren’t sure about your feelings for a certain woman.

You think about her… a lot

If you like a girl, you may feel like you cannot get her off your mind.  Scientists say that this is because when you like someone, your brain releases phenylethylamine; also known as the love drug.  This is the hormone that induces the feelings of infatuation with someone.

Fun Fact.  According to Helen Fisher, an anthropologist when you like someone, you spend 85% of your waking hours thinking about them.  

Everything reminds you of her

When you like a woman, your subconscious mind is constantly focused on her.  Every little thing you see reminds you of her: “Melissa would love this restaurant!’ ‘I wonder what she is doing.’  Even the book at the library seems like one she would be interested in. You keep having these little reminders because you think about that girl a lot and a part of you wants to be with her.

Fun Fact: “Phenylethylamine is also found in chocolate.  This may explain why you find it hard to stop after just one cube.

You are excited when she calls or texts you.

If you feel that what she has to say to you is more important than anyone else, the girl means something more to you.  It is as simple as that. Scientists believe that this single-mindedness results from elevated levels of central dopamine, a chemical that is involved in attention and focus in your brain.

You feel as if you are high when you are in their presence

It is completely normal to feel out of your mind when you are falling for some.  Scientists say that dopamine is responsible for this euphoria. When you are falling in love, there is heightened neural activity in the dopamine-rich areas of the brain.

Indeed, they further indicate that romantic feelings trigger activity in the area of the brain that is linked to obsessive thinking.

Research by Kinsey Institute revealed that the brain of a person who is falling in love resembles the brain of a person who has taken cocaine.  Dopamine is responsible for both situations. Is it any wonder people in relationships can sometimes act completely irrationally?

You just want her to be happy

Do you want to know you are falling in love?  It is not just about you anymore. Her happiness becomes really important to you.  You are willing to get out of your way to make her life easier and happier.

When her boss is treating her badly, you help her figure out what to do.  If she has a cold, you are at the store buying soup and crackers. When she gets into a fight with her sister, you distract her so that she can cheer up.

You are willing to bend your own rules and try new things.  ‘You want to eat at the vegetarian restaurant?’ ‘Yeah, sure!’  ‘And yoga afterward?’  ‘Of course.’  ‘Will you walk my dog tomorrow?’ ‘I would love to.’

Because you know what?  When she happy, laughing and so alive, there’s just nothing else like it.  This is love.

Research shows that people in love generally feel a strong sense of empathy towards their loved one.  They feel the other person’s pain as their own, and they will sacrifice anything for the other person.

You get jealous when you see her with someone else.

Do you get annoyed when you see her with someone else?  Jealousy is one of the most obvious signs that you like someone more than just as a friend.  Scientists say that people who are in love exhibit signs of possessiveness, jealousy, separation anxiety and fear of rejection.

Indeed, experts indicate that jealousy is actually healthy in the formation of relationships.  They say that jealousy is the adaptation that helps relationships to stay intact by making partners sensitive to potential threats.  Jealous people tend to be more committed to relationships.

You are completely engaged when you are with her

When you are with her, nothing else matters and time becomes irrelevant.

You will hardly notice the other people around you and you don’t remember to check your phone the entire time you are with her. As a matter of fact, there is nowhere else you want to be at that moment.

You are completely drawn to her, and you hang onto every word.  Your body language is different when with her. You find yourself leaning forward to listen more attentively.  She is like a magnetic pull that you have no desire or ability to stop.

In a study, researchers found that individuals who were in love found their passion involuntary and uncontrollable.  Many participants in the study expressed feelings of helplessness, indicating that their obsession was irrational and instinctive.

Indeed, they compare romantic love to addiction.  They say that lovers exhibit all the signs of an addict:

You feel a rush of exhilaration when thinking about her, you become obsessed with her, distort reality, change priorities or do extreme things to impress her or remain in contact with her.

Fun Fact: Romantic love is an addiction: a wonderful addiction when the relationship is going well, a horrible, disastrous, negative addiction when the relationship breaks down.  Lovers also relapse the way drug addicts do. After a relationship has ended, people, events, places, smells, songs associated with the abandoning partner still trigger memories.

So, you like her.  Now what?

Falling in love is a wonderful basis for a healthy relationship.  However, bear in mind that building a healthy relationship takes much more.  Before you approach the girl, remember that falling in love doesn’t last forever.

Scientists say that this phase is temporary and it either evolves into a long-term, codependent relationship that psychologists refer to “attachment” or it dissipates, and the relationship dissolves.

The staying power of your relationship takes commitment and mutual investment.

 

Thanks for reading this guide on how to know if you like someone – 7 signs you want more than friendship with her. If you have any comments of questions, then you can contact me here

What to Say to a Beautiful Woman You Just Met & Examples You Can Use

man and woman meeting at a park bench

What to Say to a Beautiful Woman - man and woman meeting at a park bench

WOULDN’T IT BE NICE TO KNOW the perfect thing to say to a beautiful woman?

Unfortunately, flirting does not come naturally to all guys. Many lack something to say, while some do not even know where to start. Others overthink it, and by the time they gather their thoughts, she has already moved on.

It is not easy, but it isn’t hard either

Approaching women might seem like it requires some complex strategies and carefully selected pickup lines.

But really, you just need a little bit of faith in yourself and some confidence. If you are crushing on a girl, you do not have to tell her things that are over the top, elaborate and rehearsed. A relaxed, casual attitude is the key to a positive first impression.

The mistake you make before you even start

Your mindset: Pedestal-izing

Most of the times, a guy will have trouble talking to a girl he has just met because feels like the girl is too beautiful, almost perfect, and, therefore, much better than he is. He places the girl on a pedestal way above himself, and then convinces himself that he needs some special approach talking to this girl.

This mindset is most inaccurate, and it will always fail you. Anytime you see a gorgeous girl that you like you will feel anxious and become clumsy around her. As a result, you will unconsciously drive away girls that you are attracted to every single time.

If you have been having problems talking to girls you like, here are all some points for you to consider.

The first impression

How she perceives you plays a huge role in her willingness to engage you. Even when you get together, she will never forget that moment when you chat her up for the first time.

The key to success is to ensure that you make her feel good about herself and then start a meaningful conversation she would like to participate in. The secret to a perfect first impression involves getting the timing right, avoiding appearing creepy, being socially relevant and exiting at the right moment.

Timing

Timing is of utmost importance when approaching a girl. Do not try to attract a her attention when she is obviously engaged in something else.

For instance, you spot your dream girl in the parking lot of the supermarket. She is talking on the phone while juggling ten grocery bags and is fumbling for her keys. This is not an ideal time to approach her. She is obviously in a hurry. She will not have time to look at you, let alone decide whether you are worth giving her number to.

Do not be creepy

This is of absolute importance when approaching a woman. Compare approaching a woman seated in a park on a sunny day with chasing after a woman who is walking home through the same park at night.

One way of helping a woman feel at ease is by introducing yourself. Introducing yourself will immediately alleviate the creepy factor.

Be socially relevant

The way you approach a woman will vary depending on the time and place of your interaction. Compare complimenting a woman on her legs in a bar and doing the same in a bookstore. Do you expect to get the same reaction?

It would be more relevant to introduce yourself to the woman in the bookstore and say something like, ‘I see you love the classics too. Can you recommend a good one?’ In the same way, asking the woman in the bar which books she likes to read might make her think you are the most boring guy. Good luck getting her number.

What to say to a beautiful woman you just met

Shy or outspoken, you can win her over with your charm as long as you know the right things to say. Do not overthink it. Remember, you are not the only one who is nervous . She is nervous too. Set out to have a good time and you will do just fine.

Sweet things to say to a girl you just met - banter with her.
Girls love banter. Creating an ‘in’ joke and being playful can go along way to creating a connection.

Banter with her

Bantering helps to ease the tension that comes with meeting someone for the first time. It also takes the pressure off yourself. If you can get the girl to relax, smile and have fun early in the conversation, you will win her interest, and you can then confidently carry the conversation further.

What to say to her:

  • You can pretend that she is hitting on you… ‘Uhm, excuse me, my eyes are up here!’
  • Do you mind if I talk to you? My mother always told me to follow my dreams.
  • I was just trying to have a guy’s night out and you totally ruined it. You had to be so beautiful.
  • Your eyes have told me a lot of things. The only thing they have not told me is your name.
  • I saw you checking me out. If I didn’t come and say ‘hi’, I was scared you would follow me home later.
  • Did you save this seat for me?

Remember, this is 99% delivery and not necessarily what you say. The key to saying these lines is to be bold and confident but at the same time playful. No woman wants a man who is too serious.

Give her compliments

Genuine, thoughtful compliments always go down well with girls. They literally can’t get enough of them. Do not be fake in your compliments because she will know. One of the best compliment is about her age. You can tell her that you guess she is 21 and ask to see her ID. Girls love hearing they look young.

Other compliments that you can give her include:

  • You look terrific in that dress.
  • When I saw you I had to come over and tell you, you look beautiful… *otherwise i’d regret it – (*not always necessary)
  • Your smile is glowing today. What has made you so happy?
  • Your eyes are beautiful. Are you wearing contact lenses? (Only give this compliment if you are sure that she is not wearing contact lenses)
  • Great job on the play last night. You played Macbeth perfectly. I was really impressed.
  • You sounded amazing on the violin. When did you learn how to play like that?

Again delivery is critical. Even the best compliment will fall flat if the delivery is not on point:

  • Keep a half smile as you deliver your compliment
  • Maintain eye contact with her
  • Speak softly: this communicates intimacy, and it might make her lean in closer to hear you.

An excellent compliment should lead to more conversation instead of hanging awkwardly in the air. Choose your compliments wisely.

If you were participating in an activity together, tell her how much you enjoyed spending time with her. Let her know the effect her presence had on you.

You could say things like:

  • Spending time with you has been the highlight of my day.
  • I feel comfortable with you. I can really be myself.
  • When I met you this morning, I was sad. Your beautiful smile helped change my mood.
  • Meeting you today is the best thing that has happened to me.
  • You are fun. I have enjoyed spending my day with you.
girl talking with guy at the bar
Putting the spotlight on her is where you both want it during your early conversations

Show interest in the girl

You just met the girl so by now; you do not even know her name. The girl is still a stranger at this point, and she is also still trying to figure out what your deal is and whether she wants to continue talking to you.

So ask for her name, tell her you are delighted to meet her and then express your interest in her by… taking some interest (funnily enough)

You must be approaching her for a reason, figure out what it actually is (not she’s hot, why do you think she is hot) then let her know.

Start by telling her what you think of her…

i.e. I think you look amazing in that … (coat, dress, pantsuit etc.)

Talk about the environment you are in

This is a great one to help bond you early on. Kind of like it’s you two looking at something and forming a view/opinion on it together.

Ask questions about her

After you have established a rapport, you can ask her some questions. Asking questions is a great way to show interest in a woman and take some of the pressure from yourself. Rather than having you come up with things to say, you can spend some time hearing what is in her mind. You will seem thoughtful, and she will find you attractive.

  • If she is reading a book or listening to music, ask her something about it: I like your Harry Potter backpack. Are you a big fan of the books?
  • If she is snacking on something unusual, ask her about it.
  • If she is flipping through a magazine ask her questions to start up a conversation.

After you have established a rapport, you can then move on to some more personal questions:

  • Who is the one person that you think made you who you are today?
  • If you could go anywhere right now, where would you take me? 🙂

The key is to allow the conversation to flow naturally and progressively introduce new questions. Look for things that the two of you have in common and expand on these topics.

Exit fashionably

Here is the trick: always leave on a high note. Many guys make the mistake of approaching a girl, striking up a conversation successfully but then blow it by sticking around too long.

Most of the times, you will meet a woman in social places where there are many distractions. Do not aim at having a deep conversation with her. The most important thing is to make a connection. Do not wait until you have run out of things to say and awkward silences set in. Get her number and leave before that happens. You will have accomplished your goal.

The exception to this rule is if you are undertaking an activity together, like volunteering. In this case, you will be okay because you are not entirely focused on each other.

Trick: Create a ‘time constraint’ when meeting a girl for the first time. Creating a time constraint helps because:

  • It lets the girl know that she only has to put up with your presence for a short time. This way, she will be more motivated to give you her full attention.
  • It helps you to bow out graciously. Since you already established that you have limited time, you can grab her number and excuse yourself the moment you feel the awkward silence approaching.

So say something like:

  • I have to get back to my friends, but I had to tell you how great you look. I really love how you have your own unique style!

Finally,

Do not interrogate the girl.

Even when you ask her questions, let the conversation flow organically and only introduce new questions when the conversation begins to lull.

Do not try too hard

When you try too hard, you sound unnatural for instance. Showing too much approval for responses is a complete turn-off.

Guy: What do you do for fun?

Girl: Uh… nothing really. My life is pretty boring

Guy: That’s cool sounds like a pretty stress-free life

Do not try to guess things about her

Guys try to do this all the time, but it can easily backfire. It can also come across as a magic trick or some kind of gimmick. You don’t want either of these things when your trying to show her your authenticity.

Do not insult her

Since approaching a girl is pretty nerve-wracking, some guys end up insulting her even without realizing it.

Guy: What do you study?

Girl: I am studying photography.

Guy: Really? How will you ever make money from that?

Compare this response to:

Guy: Really? You must be very driven to get into such a competitive industry as photography!

See how the guy has managed to point out how difficult a career path photography is and at the same time turned it into a compliment. Double score!

Do not be boring

When talking to a girl for the first time, the worst thing you can do is bore her. Firstly she will lose all interest to get to know you better, and she will assume that you are like every other guy who has hit on her before.

Guy: How long have you lived here?

Girl: all my life

Guy: So you like it here then?

Girl: It’s okay

Guy: Yeah I’ve lived here a pretty long time too

Compare the last response to:

Guy: (laughing) you don’t sound too happy about that.

The bottom line

Getting some practice is the key. Using dating apps can be a great place to practice along with the talking to the girls behind the counter at the supermarket, restaurant etc.

Making her smile is the start of a bond.

Thanks for reading this article on what to say to a beautiful woman you just met. If you have any comments or questions you can contact me here. 

How to Attract Younger Women & Use Your Age to Your Advantage

How to Attract Younger Women - A woman and man enjoying a hot drink together

How to Attract Younger Women - A woman and man enjoying a hot drink together

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT to yourself that it was not possible to attract and date younger women?  You think: ‘cute girls would never date an old geezer like me!’ Or ‘why should I bother approaching her?  She’d just tell me that I am old enough to be her dad’.

You are so wrong

Let us get something straight.  Young women are actually attracted to older men.  Clinical psychologist, Sasha Lynn says that there are many reasons why young women are attracted to older men.

The older man is more confident and secure in himself and is more settled in his life and career.  His life is much less chaotic, and he is perceived to be more experienced socially as well as sexually.

Many young women feel that guys their age just don’t ‘get it.’  They want an older man who is in control of himself and his environment.

Furthermore, many studies suggest that women mature faster than men.  It is no wonder, therefore, that a younger woman might feel more comfortable with an older man.

A perfect match: Older men and younger women share the same need for connection.

Consider the following facts:

  • Young women have a massive need for connection. While they are busy building their careers, their main focus is to create lasting relationships and establish a family.
  • Young men, on the other hand, are more focused on the need for significance. As much as they may have relationships and want to have a family, their main focus is figuring a way to make it in the world.
  • The older man has spent his youth looking for money and power, and he has probably achieved them.  He is tired of the rat race, and he is looking for more connection.

A younger woman and an older man are compatible because they are both seeking for more connection.  She wants to settle own. He may be wanting to start a second family so that he can get it right this time since he neglected the first one in pursuit for money and power.

How to attract younger women

Your age does not have to be the stumbling block to a beautiful relationship.  Long lasting relationships are possible, even despite a huge age difference:

Donald and Melania Trump have an age difference of 23 years, George Clooney and his wife Amal have a 17 years age gap, Bruce Willis and Emma Heming have an age difference of 24 years, Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas have an age difference of 26 years…. and the list is endless.

Indeed, your age can be to your advantage when you are seeking a younger woman.

Change your mindset

Many guys are attracted to younger women, but they refrain from approaching them because of societal programming.

  • I shouldn’t date a woman that young.  It is just not right.
  • Everyone will think I am shallow if I date a woman that young.
  • A relationship with a woman that young would never work.  We are in completely differences places in life.

You can never have the younger woman that you desire if you harbor such thoughts in your mind.  There is absolutely nothing wrong, immoral or unethical with wanting to date a younger woman. After all, we have already established that young women are very attracted to older men.

How to attract younger women

Act your age

Many older guys think that the way to attract a younger woman is by acting younger.  This is not necessary. Trying to be something you are not is never attractive. Do not go around saying you are 29 while you are in fact 40, or telling people that you are 60, but you feel as if you are 35.

Embrace your age.  Be who you are:  you do not have to pretend to be what you are not to impress a younger woman.  Remember, there are tons of younger women that are looking to date older guys. Pretending to act younger when you are an older man is an easy way to get rejected by younger women.  Learn to play to your strengths instead of your weaknesses.

Ensure you are compatible

To stack the odds in your favor, ensure you share common interests with the younger woman.  Sometimes, the generational differences can be huge, that you have to ensure there is enough potential for a long-term relationship if that is what you are after.

Further, ensure that she is not looking for a father figure.  This is huge. Some girls have had bad relationships with their fathers, or they just never had fathers.  Looking for an older man might be their way of looking for a father figure.

They are looking for a provider, a protector and someone to nurture them: someone to fill the gap.   They are not looking for an equal relationship. This is not the kind of relationship you should sign up for.  It will never work.

Ensure that she is not only open to dating an older man but that she understands the challenges that may come with it.

  • Is she ready for people to say all sorts of things about your relationship?
  • Will her parents and siblings might disapprove of the relationship?
  • Is she comfortable hanging out with your older friends?

Be adventurous

While you want to be mature and adult, get a renewed thinking: you must be adventurous and fun to be around.  Young women are wild and adventure seekers.  The best way to connect with them is ride on with their curiosity and imagination.

  • Let her take you on adventures that you would never consider going on by yourself.
  • Take the initiative; be exciting and daring and let her do things she never thought she would do before.

This is one of the most powerful things you can do to keep a young woman interested.  You will both have a blast.

Be her rock

There is no doubt about it. While all women are emotional, a younger woman will have a lot of drama going on in her life.  Whenever she freaks out about something, you must not let it get to you. Learn to stay calm. Do not try to fix her problems and do not try to stand in for daddy.  That is one of the things she will love about you.

She will love that you can remain cool under any circumstances.  Remember, one of the unique offerings you bring to the table as an older guy is your stability and non-judgment.  So, be that rock and see what happens.

Keep the lines of communication open

The age differences might include differences in perceptions and role expectations.  Discuss your expectations with her.  Maybe she wants to have a child while you feel that you are past the age of having children.  Talk as much as possible so that neither of you misunderstands the relationship.

Prepare yourself for continuous change

When you are dating a younger woman, remember that she probably still have a few years of figuring herself out.  Keep an open mind and be ready to go with the flow.  Do not restrict or hinder her options.  Also, be prepared for the possibility that she may not be with you in the next few years.

Deal with this fact and be ready for it: New careers, new relationship expectations, new lifestyle and many other things will come into her life as she grows into a more mature woman.

How to deal with the “How old are you question.”

As we conclude, the question that older men dread the most when approaching a younger woman is the question: “Wait a minute, how old are you?”

Fear, nervousness, and embarrassment engulfs you and are at a loss how to exactly respond.

Should you tell your actual age and risk rejection

Or

Should you simply lie and hope that she never finds out how old you really are?

The secret: Ask the question first

This helps you to beat her to the punch and ensures that she is on the defensive instead of you.

Envision the following conversation:

You: How old are you?

Her: (Truthfully her response doesn’t matter as you already know she is younger)

You: Oh, well…. You’re a bit too young for me.  I don’t think a relationship with you would ever work.

Her: But… (She will try to qualify herself, listing all the reasons why the relationship between the two of you would actually work).

Do you see what is happening here? You are disqualifying her because of her age and using her young age as the reason why the two of you cannot hook up. You have flipped the script, and instead of chasing her, you now have her chasing you.

The close…

Not all women will want to date an older man, but there is many who will after their not so fulfilling experiences with guys their own age. So if you get a few weird responses then try somewhere else.