How to Attract Women with Body Language – 7 Tips for When You Meet Miss Right

how to attract women with body language - a smile and confident posture goes a long way

how to attract women with body language - a smile and confident posture goes a long way

DID YOU KNOW communication is 7% words, 38% tone of voice, and 55% non-verbal cues? A study by UCLA indicated that we communicate our feelings and attitudes more through body language than words. This is even much more important in relationships, considering that women tune into the emotional messages that guys convey:

  • When you sit, do you slouch your shoulders or are you upright?
  • Do you walk with your head high, or do you look down?
  • When meeting new people, do you relax or get nervous and uptight?

What do all these have to do with attracting women?

Your body language communicates power and confidence or insecurity and low self-esteem. Even when you’re not thinking about it.

If you carry yourself with power, women will assume that you manifest that power; if you look at them in the face when speaking to them; they will believe that you have something of value to say.

What the research says

According to research, 57% of women indicate that their first impression of a man was his self-presentation and how he carried himself, 38% of the women said that they based their first impression on how the man spoke, and 7% on what the man actually said.

Many men communicate nervousness, desperation, and sleaziness without even realizing it. Unfortunately, it is hard to avoid these mistakes when you are meeting a beautiful woman for the first time. Your body betrays you; it responds to the interaction with wrong body language. Most of the rejection from women results from things that you are not even aware that you are doing.

The single most problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernard Shaw.

What is initial attraction all about

According to Stephen Nash, what initially attracts a woman to a man is his masculinity. Masculinity is translated to mean security.

The kind of a guy that a woman is attracted to is one who is secure: he does not need any external validation, he is not needy, and interacts with people in a relaxed way. Women can instinctively tell how secure you are through your body language.

Your efforts at attracting a woman should focus on making her feel comfortable, getting her to like you and getting her to let her guard down.

Body language: the difference that makes the difference.

There is a night and day difference between body language that communicates confidence and one which conveys insecurity. What is more, women can see, sense, and feel this difference immediately. Remember, if your body language is all wrong, you will be appraised, rejected, and declared unworthy long before you open your mouth.

By the time you think of starting a conversation, an emotional barrier has already been created, and your words will be bouncing off the invisible emotional shield. By then, the dominant thought in the woman’s mind is how fast she can get rid of you.

how to attract women with body language - drawing her in with open body language
Using your body correctly will help make her feel more secure and even encourage her to pursue you

Here’s how to create attraction in women using your body language


Women inherently regard men as protectors. As such, you should have a strong posture. Your posture is an essential aspect of your body language. The qualities you want to communicate with your posture are confidence, dominance, but at the same time, approachability. Always ensure that your back is straight, and your shoulders are squared. Slouching your shoulder sends messages of anxiety and defeat.

When you are standing, always plant your feet at least shoulder width apart. Experts say that from an evolutionary perspective, this posture signals fertility, which women unconsciously look for in potential partners.

When it comes to your hands, it is better to leave them free at your sides with the palms open rather than having them crossed at your chest. Crossing your hands makes you appear closed off and nervous.

Always lean forward towards the woman you are talking to. This helps you to communicate interest, desire, excitement, and intrigue. She will unconsciously be pulled to you.

Leaning back communicates distraction and disinterest. Also, facing your feet towards your date shows that your attention is on the woman while crossing your legs indicates that you are relaxed and confident.


The way you move is as important as the way you stand. When you walk, walk deliberately with a purpose. Do not walk in a rush, but do not be a turtle. You want your movement to communicate directness and confidence.

Therefore, you must learn to control your flow. You will never meet a confident guy with Restless Leg Syndrome. Slowing down presents the world with a more confident version of yourself.

When you get into a room, you want to slide in there gently like a summer breeze. This will add calmness and elegance to your movement.

The way you move is your autograph in motion – Leil Lowrides

Eye contact

Maintaining intense eye contact is one of the most important aspects of attracting a woman. When seeking to attract a woman, do not settle for the weak, polite eye contact. Aim for a strong eye contact that injects sexual tension.

As a man, it is your job to create sexual tension, whereas, it is a woman’s responsibility to deflect the sexual tension through polite eye contact. Do not do her job for her.

Fact: When you look a woman in the eyes, a hormone called phenylethylamine is released. This is the hormone that induces the feeling of falling in love.

Holding eye contact with a woman immediately communicates status, sexuality, dominance, confidence, and fearlessness. Remember, if you make eye contact with a girl, whoever looks away first is the least dominant one.

Feminine energy is submissive; masculine energy is dominant. Which one do you want to be?

During a conversation with a woman, well-timed eye contact increases the connection between the two of you. Looking away for too long will make you appear nervous and uncomfortable.

how to attract women with body language - being open can create opportunities for you to get closer
Opening up your body and smiling will help her open up to you

Please smile

A smile is very powerful when used effectively. Smiling to a woman communicates that you are available and approachable. Research indicates that women respond to the smile rather than the whiteness of the teeth or even the shape of the smile. Do not worry if your teeth do not perfectly align. A smile is a smile!

Fun facts: Women are innately intimidated by men: Men are taller, stronger, bigger, and faster than the average woman. Your smile disarms the woman. It communicates that you are fun, spontaneous, positive, sociable, approachable, and harmless.

A smile is contagious. When you smile, it literally forces the other person to smile because of the mirror neurons in her brain.

Smiling at a woman makes her feel good, and she will associate ‘feeling good’ with being around you.

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

Body odor

Studies have shown that a woman’s sense of smell is up to 100 times more powerful than that of a man. They also reveal that there is a connection between a woman’s olfactory glands and her Limbic system – the part of the brain that is responsible for feelings of attraction and lust. By smelling good, you can trigger a woman’s limbic system and get her to fall for you:

  • Shower Daily
  • Brush your teeth thoroughly including the back of the tongue.
  • Floss your teeth daily.
  • Use deodorant and a touch of cologne to take your game a notch higher.

Take up space

Another definite way to express confidence is by taking up space. You do not want to be the guy who shrinks into the background and tries not to stand out; women will never notice you.

An excellent trick to occupying space is viewing everything within three feet of you as being in your personal ‘party bubble.’ This is a territorial thing that people notice unconsciously. When you take up space, in a room, people automatically conclude that you are the alpha male and that you are the most fun.

Leverage on her body language

One of the best ways to get her to start warming to you is to leverage her body language. Here are two of the more common ways you can do this.


You can mirror her. This simply means that you copy the behavior of your target woman: Facial expressions, hand gestures, mood, and body movements. By replicating a woman’s body language, you are sending familiarity signals to her brain.

Research shows that a woman’s brain cannot consciously ignore body language that suggests familiarity. For instance, if you notice that she is a little down, you can mirror her mood and tell her, “Is there something on your mind? Let’s go for a walk and talk or forget about it.”

Mirroring works well in inducing attraction because the conscious mind cannot process it.

TIP – Mirroring is best done at the subconscious level. You might notice it but do not bring it up in conversation or make awkward movements simply to copy body language.

how to attract women with body language - good body language can invite her to chase you

Be Playful

In some ways, this is the opposite of mirroring. Basically, instead of the both of you following each others body language, you do the opposite when it makes sense.

In the image above, the woman is sitting on the bar, the man behind the bar (manager/bartender) is playfully pretending to tell her that she shouldn’t do that.

Playfully is really the name of the game here.

One last fact:

Scientists say that the part of the brain that is responsible for romantic feelings -the limbic system- is primitive, and recognizes neither reason nor language. It is also called the ‘Lizard Brain’ because it bears a resemblance to the brain of the reptiles. It is impulsive and only knows emotions.

Scientists now think that the limbic system reaches its decisions through cues in behavior and body language as opposed to words. It will do you good to always to remember this: when you are dealing with a woman, she does not care much what is actually said; she cares about how she feels; how you make her feel.

Thanks for reading this guide on How to Attract Women with Body Language. If you have a comment or question, you can contact me here.

The Ins and Outs of Dating for Shy People – What the Experts Have to Say

Dating for Shy People - Man and Woman on a bench

Dating for Shy People - Man and Woman on a bench


Experts indicate that introverts find comfort in their own inner world, as opposed to the outside world. While social interactions energize the extroverted guy, they suck all the energy from a shy guy.

Even when the shy guy wants to be with other people, he does not know how. This is because behind his shyness is extreme self-consciousness. Shy guys worry that other people are constantly judging them, they fear failure and rejection, and they worry that they will be disrespected.

Also, they constantly blame themselves for negative outcomes. A professor of psychology at Indiana University has coined the phrase ‘shy narcissism’.

Shy guys and dating

Experts say that the mind of an introvert is hyperactive; continually indulging in negative fantasies and replaying negative memories. A shy guy will treat every date as a high stakes interaction that he has to get right. He will focus on the reasons a girl may not like him and significantly underplay his good qualities.

He will work hard to make the date perfect. When the date finally happens, he will overthink everything and nervousness will get the better of him.  Eventually, when the date does not go the way he planned it, he will retreat and shut down.

A shy guy does not have to have a hard time dating. Sophia Dembling, who researches and writes about introverts, says that the narrative that shy people should find dating harder is merely a misconception.

Indeed, she says while shy guys may have a harder time meeting the person to date, the dating itself should be easy because introverts are more comfortable in one on one interactions. If the shy guy can get through the hurdle of extracting the woman from the social situation, he will be just fine.

The strengths of a shy guy

In fact, Sophia says that shy guys have many great qualities that give them unexpected advantages to help them thrive in the dating scene if only they would embrace their shyness.

  • Introverts have a tendency for deeper conversations, hence, deeper connections.
  • Their sense of mystery is also attractive to women. Experts indicate that shy guys carry an air of mystery around them. As a result, they are more likely to be pursued than to pursue. How cool is that!
  • Even though women want a strong outgoing man, many women still unconsciously want a man who will not compete for the spotlight with them. They secretly desire a man who will make them slow down and find quiet peace.
  • Introverts are great listeners: Sophia says that one of the most significant contributions of shy guys to the dating scene is their listening skills. Shy guys pay attention, think things through, and ask important questions. This can take a date to another level.

Experts indicate that shy guys attract more women than they realize: it just depends on them to take the first step. Ultimately, the best thing a shy guy can do for himself is to honor his introversion, treat it as something of value; something to showcase on a date.

Dating for Shy People - Man trying to make a move on woman but shy

Other people are shy too

Every shy guy thinks that he is the only one who is shy. You get so nervous about talking to other people and retreat to yourself. As a result, you ignore the thoughts and feelings of other people around you, which prevents you from seeing that other people are not social butterflies either.

Studies show that 30 to 50% of the people are introverts. Chances are, the girl you are interested in is also an introvert.

When at a social function, realize that no one is looking at you. They are looking at themselves, and many of them are also shy. When you want to approach a girl, remember that you both want to impress each other.

Let go of your need to be perfect and instead shift your perspective to providing a girl with fun experience. Maintain that and worry less about whether you are impressing her. Seek to have fun instead.

Be yourself: stick with what works for you.

The biggest mistake that guys make when they are planning a date is to go out of their way to make a big impression. The first inclination is to act differently and take the girl to a new place, as if who you are is not good enough.

Stick to places that feel good

If you do not like noisy places, that is fine. Do not force yourself to take a girl there. If the noise in a club makes you anxious, it will only set you up for failure.

Take her to places that you are comfortable with, where you can be yourself. If things turn out good, great! If they don’t, bad! However, if you pick somewhere new, there is an increased likelihood that things will not turn out good.

Pick something short and fun

One dominant trait for shy guys is exhaustion from long exposure to groups of people. Since we already saw that being around crowds drains energy from shy guys, pick something that is short and punchy.

Your aim should be to create the right combination of time to talk and know each other and at the same time have fun with one another with little talking. This will not only help you to keep your energy up but, you will also let loose without having to worry about anything.

Be your introverted self

Do not assume that every woman wants a loud and outgoing man. Believe in yourself and that you have a lot to offer. If you are not comfortable in your own skin, you will inadvertently sabotage your dating experience because you think that you are not good enough.

If you have a shy attack on a date, rather than freaking out or trying to hide it, admit to it. This gives your date an opportunity to relate or reassure you.

Women’s intuition is stronger than you realize. A woman can see right through your insecurity. And when you muster courage and tell her your intentions and desires, she will find you mature and bold, and she will definitely be impressed.

Focus on the girl during the date

It is most likely that you do not like to talk about yourself and that is perfectly okay. To keep a conversation going, you can make the girl talk about herself. People love to talk about themselves and the things that interest them; give them a chance to do so, and you will immediately win them over.

Focus your attention on your date’s life: hobbies, her job, her travels, and other interests.

Talk to someone about themselves, and they will listen for hours – Dale Carnegie

Asking questions allows the woman to open up while showing her that you really care. This also takes the pressure away from you and helps you relax.

Change your endgame

Part of the frustration during dating comes from your expectations. If you hope that every interaction with a woman will lead to an immediate new friend or partner, you will be greatly disappointed. When you narrow your expectations in such a manner, the outcome is a lot of stress, zero deep interactions, and a lot of frustrations.

What if you change your end game: you simply approach women out of curiosity. The beauty of this approach is that the moment you sense that the conversation is going nowhere, you have full permission to extricate yourself. Meeting the woman becomes your end goal: and you will meet it every time.

Lastly, Do not ruminate.

Shy guys are very hard on themselves. They will go through a past date over and over again. Unfortunately, they will focus on all the small details about what they should have done and didn’t do, and what they did wrong. This strips them of the confidence to organize another date.

In Summary,

Treat every date as a learning experience. Do not beat yourself up for what did not go according to plan. Take the lessons and move forward. Always remember, there are no wasted experiences. Every date helps you to make the next one even better, if you let it.

Thanks for reading this guide on the ins and outs of dating for shy people.

If you have a comment or question, you can contact me here.