How to Get a Woman to Like You When You’re Nervous

How to get a girl to like you - couple on date

How to get a girl to like you - couple on date

YOU HAVE JUST MET a woman that you think is gorgeous and funny and absolutely intelligent.

You are really attracted to her, and you can totally see yourself in a fantastic relationship with her… And you want her to be into you as well.

But do you know what to do?

One wrong move and you will be annoying and push her away, or you will find yourself in the darkest pit of the friend zone.

How can you create a positive impression and eventually make her attracted to you?

How to get a woman to like you

Be well groomed

Women are not hung up on physical features, but your appearance is the first thing they will notice.

Physical attraction is the initial attraction. If you are dirty, smelly and wearing clothes that look like they have just been thrown together, you may put her off and deny her chance to discover just how amazing you are.

How you dress is quite important

Research shows that females instinctively look at how a guy is dressed to determine if he will be a good provider for their family in the future.

A well-dressed guy sends the message that he is stable, goal oriented, and driven. When you want to impress women, wear clean clothes, trim your nails, comb your hair, and be presentable.

When seeking to attract a woman, your smell is of utmost importance

Your fragrance can intrigue a woman, sexually attract her, or even repulse her.

It doesn’t matter how good looking you are if you have a scent that turns off other people you have no chance of attracting her. Having a nice aftershave or scent of cologne will help.

Your scent should not be too overpowering. It should not overwhelm, but it should definitely be noticeable. She should only detect it when you walk by or stand next to her.

Be confident

Research shows that women cannot resist a confident attitude.

A guy who is comfortable in his own skin holds his head up high, is true to himself, and does not worry about what other people think is very attractive. A woman will be drawn to a man who believes in himself and is not afraid to be the man he wants to be.

A guy who is confident inside and out sends a strong message that he can protect his girl and his family.

A guy who lacks confidence communicates timidity and disinterest. This will cause her to keep her distance because she cannot trust him to be there when she needs him.

Be yourself

When many guys meet women, they do not present their ‘true selves’.

This is because they fear rejection. They feel like they do not look good enough or they are not charming enough. So instead of being themselves, they try to project an image that you think she will like.

Other guys are too worried about what to say to women: always weighing their words and jumping on every opportunity to agree.

Unfortunately, she will see right through you. Women can tell that you are not your authentic self and that you crave her approval. When she senses this, she will run for the hills. A woman respects a man who believes in himself enough to risk not be liked and approved of.

Remember, different women have different preferences when it comes to men. Therefore, not every woman will be attracted to you; and it has nothing to do with you. Be yourself and allow her to like you for you.

How to get a woman to like you - he is paying attention to her

Pay attention to her

When you are with a woman, make her feel as if she is only other person in the room. Even when people walk by, the music is loud, and the dishes are breaking, keep your whole attention focused on her.

Women love this… And they test for it.

Women who are interested in you will get their friends to sit next to you instead of them. They do this to test whether you really have an interest in them or if you’re just after ‘any girl’.

You can pass the test by keeping your attention on her. This is definitely a way to get into her good books in the right way.

Let her talk about herself

Often, guys struggle on dates because they try to keep the conversation going at all times. They forget that the one topic of ultimate interest for women is themselves.

And make no mistake, girls love to talk about themselves. If you master the art of listening to her, you will have the most fantastic conversation.

Simply listen, pick on the things that she tells you and talk to her about them.

She will appreciate that you show an interest in her and she will feel good emotions talking about things that matter to her. Consequently, she will associate those emotions with you. Within no time, she will feel a connection with you.

Next time you are talking to a girl, zero in on what matters to her and let her elaborate on it.


Girls want guys with whom they share some similarities.

Mirroring is a good way to show her that you are more alike than different. This is an incredible tactic because you do not even have to talk to her.

Mirroring catches the attention of the woman and communicates to her that you are a guy that she would find interesting. It is also a way of getting her to develop a true sense of trust because people generally trust people who are similar to them.

Research shows that when you mirror a woman’s facial expressions, it makes her feel attracted to you and she also finds you interesting, caring and intelligent. Some of the ways you can mirror include:

  • Smiling when she smiles
  • Turning your body in the same direction as hers
  • Nodding your head when she nods hers
  • Raising your eyebrows when she raises hers
  • Showing disgusting when she shows disgust towards something else

Although don’t impersonate

This doesn’t mean copying or impersonating her. It’s simply about showing her that you are in the same frame of mind at the same time.

Similarity attraction effect

We have already established that we are attracted to people who are similar to us.

You can use this to your benefit when listening to the woman that you like. Simply highlight the things that you have in common.

She says she loves country music? Let her know your favorite band if you also like country music.

Studies show that the more similar to a girl a guy is, the more she feels he is predictable, and her brain, therefore, thinks he is safe to be with.

Be spontaneous

You don’t have to do what every other guy out there is doing to impress her.

For instance, why don’t you use your talents to impress her? On a date take her to something that you are good at. Even if it is hitting range balls, she will see you at something you are good at.

This will earn you extra points because you are genuine and that takes extra time and effort.

The novel effect

Research shows things that are new or unusual activate the parts of the brain that invokes curiosity and consequently, attractiveness.

Separate yourself from the herd and do things differently and you will surely get her to like you.

Final thoughts…

Many guys allow their shortcomings to stand in the way of their love life.

There are many things you may not like about yourself…… and if you are not careful, you may allow them to erode your self-esteem

These are factors that you cannot control, and you should not allow them to stand in the way of your love. A great personality and attitude can help you to overcome all your insecurities.

Therefore, embrace who you are, turn them into your strengths and build your self-esteem. And remember, even the girl you are eyeing is not perfect. She probably has her own insecurities.

Thanks for reading this guide on how to get a woman to like you. For more information on meeting miss right, sign up to the email list.

The Top 10 Best Pick Up Artist Books

Best Pick Up Artist Books - Man chatting to woman in cafe

Best Pick Up Artist Books - Man chatting to woman in cafe

THE PICK UP ARTISTS IN these books have all turned their lives around

They all started off as nervous, timid and socially awkward guys who couldn’t even get a date…

Now they are dating superheroes

Many of them were spurred on, learning from guys who had come before them…

Now they are the ones giving advice. Helping guys like you by revealing what works for them, as well as stories from their experiences

Here are the top 10 pick up books I found and have read. They are in no particular order and offer something a little different…


tao of badass book and bonuses

Tao of Badass – Joshua Pellicer

This is more of an encyclopedia than a book. There is plenty of content to go through and the level of detail is very thorough.

Not only are there details on what to say/do etc, but also plenty of ‘inner game’ stuff, stories about what to do (and what not to do), unique concepts and the typical tips and techniques.

The Tao of Badass isn’t just a book. It includes videos, audio and plenty of bonuses which why it costs a little more than the other options on this list.

You can get your copy of TAO OF BADASS here as well as read a more DETAILED REVIEW here


The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed – Mystery (aka Eric Von Markovik)

Mystery is really a geek when it comes to meeting women…

The part of ‘getting laid’ that most guys think is by chance, he has been turned into a Science

In his book, he goes into minute detail and spells out the rules of how to meet women for you

Although this book isn’t going to solve all the challenges you face, after reading it you can expect that your odds will improve

The best thing about what Mystery has done is that he has done it a lot, and in this book, he gives away some of his ‘rules of thumb’. Including:

  • How long it takes to go from meeting to sleeping with a woman (on average)
  • How long you should wait before you make your approach
  • The best way to bypass her ‘buyers remorse’ trigger

Some of the books is a little outdated, but the ideas, message and Mystery’s rules of thumb are still relevant. And because of this, it’s worth a read, especially for those who haven’t read many (or any) pick up books before

The Mystery Method is very structured and the book will give readers a complete view (and timeline) of those important first few hours when meeting a woman

You can get your copy and read more reviews of The Mystery Method here


The Way of the Superior Man – David Deida

David Deida isn’t a pick up artist. But this book has been handed down by pick up artists for as long as I can remember

It’s all about dealing with the stresses and challenges that come from work, women and sexual desire

This isn’t simply woo-woo nonsense, although the reasons why may not be clear to readers

It’s centered around male spirituality, but there are also practical aspects that men can follow

However, the book is typically written in that meta kind of way that spiritual books are typically written in. Topics include*:

  • Live with an open heart even when it hurts
  • Don’t force the feminine to make decisions
  • Live as if your father were dead
  • What she wants is not what she says

If you need to focus on your ‘inner-game’ (the reasons why you act as you do) then this is the book for you.

Well worth the read, there is a lot of wisdom in this book

Get your copy of THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN here

*Topics I have taken are from my copy which is about 10 years old. The version available now may be updated


Unlock her legs book and bonuses

Unlock Her Legs – Bobby Rio (& Rob Judge)

Unlike the other books on this page, unlock her legs deals with the question…

‘There’s this one girl, how do I get her?’

Whether you have been relegated to the ‘friend zone’, your relationship went a little sour or she doesn’t even really know who you are (be honest here) then this book is for you

It covers how to change her perception of you, then how to turn her from just a friend into something more.

As far as how the book reads, Bobby talks like a typical New Yorker. Crude and straight to the point. There are stories to illustrate points but it’s mostly a ‘what to do and how to do it’ type book.

If you haven’t read any other pick up books, you will be surprised by the level of detail that Bobby Rio and Rob Judge (co-author) have in this area.

Unlock her legs comes with audiobook and plenty of bonuses reports. (see image)

Well worth a read. Find out more and get your copy of UNLOCK HER LEGS here


Magnetic Messaging

Magnetic Messaging – Bobby Rio (& Rob Judge)

Although some will promise it, there is no such thing as a magical set of words that will get her to fall in love with you…

But what there is, is a way of communicating with a woman that demonstrates to her that you are a confident, smart and attractive..

Which she won’t be able to resist

This book helps you by showing you what confident, smart and attractive guys are saying to girls.. that is working

It reveals many of the exact lines that Bobby and Rob use themselves to meet and escalate romance with women that they meet.

Although it is a little dated, the principles and texts still work just as well today

When I was new to meeting women, using text messages I ‘borrowed’ from other guys was one of the best learning experiences.

It gave me more motivation, which then only made it a matter of time before I could meet and attract women when I wanted.

You can get your copy of MAGNETIC MESSAGING here


Brent Smith - Attract Hotter Women

Attract Hotter Women – Brent Smith

Brent Smith is kind of the odd one out when it comes to this list.

He’s not your typical guy who learned a lot about meeting women. And he’s not going to teach you about meeting women in the street or at the local nightclub.

He’s a playboy.

The old-school type. World travelling, Tuxedo wearing, Celebrity mingling … and he only ever dates ’10s’.

As you can tell by the name of his book, he has refined taste when it comes to everything, including women

This book is another ‘what to do, how to do’ type book that covers the topic of meeting higher value women (which are also typically better looking)

It includes areas around increasing your social status and how to generate a vibe that will attract beautiful women to you

Get your copy of Brent Smith’s ATTRACT HOTTER WOMEN here


Complete Hooked System

Hooked! Proven secrets that make women addicted to being with you – Tripp Kramer

Tripp is a pretty regular guy. Originally from the Midwest, this book is the result of his journey to meeting women and socializing in his new city (Los Angeles).

The breakthrough in this book is that you don’t need to be an alpha male or someone you’re not to have the dating life you want.

In some ways the book has more regular, ‘what-you-would-expect’ advice. Tips on how you dress, what to say to keep the interaction moving along, body language stuff etc.

Tripp also harnesses the power of NLP to help build deeper connections with women. And covers more specific topics like how to arrange your living space to make women feel more comfortable there.

Good for guys who want to keep it simple, and use less of the ‘hacks and tricks’.

Get your copy of HOOKED here


The Game – Neil Strauss

This is the classic tale of a guy who has entered the world of the pickup artists by befriending one of the most prominent at the time (Mystery).

Although this book is a little dated now, it shows a behind the scenes view of the world of the pick up artist. Including information on some of the big names.

This book isn’t about giving you tips or what to say etc. The lesson this book taught me was that ‘pick up’ is about is about becoming a better man, and essentially outgrowing ‘pick up’.

It’s worth a read. You can get your copy of THE GAME here


The Dating Playbook for Men – Andrew Ferebee

Like many, Andrew Ferebee has read and tried many different tactics and techniques when it comes to meeting women

And after letting it all simmer in his brain, the most important thing to him isn’t tips, routines or strategies… it’s being a grounded male

This book is about what’s inside you. And how to bring that when you’re out meeting women

On the con side, it is a little sales-y where the author plugs his programs at the end of the chapter

But despite this, it’s worth a read. It will help keep you grounded and it sets the tone for what is important when you meet a woman

Get your copy of The Dating Playbook for Men here



Sperm Wars – Robin Baker

Like David Deida, Robin Baker is not a pick up artist. But this book has done the rounds as well. It’s a real eye-opener when it comes to the science of sex

In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that unless you read this book, you don’t really understand the mechanics of sex

And by understanding the mechanics, you will understand more of the things that happen in interactions between you and the women you’re interested in

Because at the end of the day, sex is what it’s all about

For example, if you have ever wondered why a girl chases one particular guy but runs away from others then the answer is in this book

If you’re wondering if you can read and understand a science book (some of them are quite hard) this one is not all dry facts, big words and statistics.

Each chapter starts with a story, then an explanation. To be honest it is written well enough that an average reader will have no trouble understanding (I had no trouble)

Get your copy of SPERM WARS here

Thanks for reading…

If you haven’t read a book about pick up before, then I can confidently say that these books will change your life

Just like the pick up artists who wrote them, they can open a door to what feels like another world

They changed my life (for the better) and now I don’t know where I would be without them. I hope they have the same positive influence on your life too.

10 of the Best Books on Female Psychology – An Updated List

Best Books on Female Psychology - Man and Woman Reading

Best Books on Female Psychology - Man and Woman Reading

SHE SEEMS HAPPY… but what is going through her mind?

  • Why did she break up with me?
  • What has made her go so distant all of a sudden?
  • Why is she with that guy?

If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions then this (updated) list is going to transform your life.

It contains the best (in my experienced and honest opinion) advice, information and education on women and why they do what they do

Some are new, some are classic books on female psychology. But they all have great ideas, concepts and insights to help you understand the women in your life…

1. For men only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women – Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

Think you know what she truly wants and needs from you?

For Men Only unlocks many of the mysteries that tend to keep the average man in the dark. Especially when it comes to building a deeper and more meaningful relationship with women.

You can expert to learn about what women think their insecurities are and what they mean when they use the term ‘security’ (which is very important to them)

From the best-selling author of “For Women Only”, this easy to read the book is full of practical information. With no real scientific language, it’s something any man can read today and feel more in charge of their relationships with women.

Get your copy of For Men Only here.

Pros Cons
Easy to read Over-simplified writing style
Includes a “Quick-Start” guide Denigrating language towards women
Plenty of practical information Written from Christian POV may not be for everyone

2. Crack the Secret Girl Code – Michael Fiore

Crack the Girl Code - Michael Fiore

Learn How to Push the Right Buttons

Crack the Girl Code is an online training program that provides men with “code cheats” designed to help get inside the minds of women. It focuses on creating an instant connection while at the same time increasing her sexual desires.

The course covers techniques to help you push three crucial buttons in a woman’s mind to make her feel that special connection and desire you.

Crack the Girl Code covers how to make that connection by making her feel as though you understand her better than anyone else. It also covers conversation tips to turn her on and how to make a woman feel like she is destined to be with you.

Several bonuses are included such as “How to avoid the Friend Zone.” You can find more information on exactly what else is included at the website here. (It gets a bit weird with the puppets)

Pros Cons
Perfect for the beginner No online forum for more help and information
Digital version for online reading Not for those who “think,” they are always right
60- day money back guarantee Not an “Instant” cure, it takes time for perfection

3. The Female Brain – Louann Brizendine

Science answers the question “What does a woman want?”

No matter what your current relationship status, this book will help you to gain a better understanding of the complexities of the female brain, in an easy to read and understand format

The Female Brain answers many questions you might have but were afraid to ask. Among those questions are, “Why do women tend to be more verbal than most men?” or “Why do women form stronger bonds with their female friends than guys do with their male friends?”

Find the answers to these questions and many more in between the covers of The Female Brain.

Pros Cons
Easy to understand, non-scientific language Contains inaccurate information in places
Should read by both women and men Fails to cover the elderly female brain
Concepts backed by medical science Stereotypes women a little

4. What Women Want When They Test Men – Bruce Bryans

How to decode a woman’s behavior and pass their “secret” tests

It only makes sense that women test men. But do you know how to recognize when you are being tested and how to react to it?

In the book, you will learn about the three “C”s, Congruence, Compliance, and Commitment, which are the three tests most women use.  

If you have ever been dumped by a woman, the book can show you how not to accept being treated this way. As well as how to start being treated in a manner of which you are deserving.

Crack the code and get your copy of What Women Want When They Test Men here.

Pros Cons
Follow up to What Women Want in a Man From a very dominating male point of view
Identifies the three “C”s women use to test men Might be best for short-term relationships
Teaches you to be a strong, confident man Repetitive in places

5. What Women Want in a Man – Bruce Bryans

Become the Alpha male women desire

In What Women Want in a Man, Bruce Bryan discusses the most important thing a woman wants in a man

And how communication and confidence are important, but not as important as her #1 primal drive. 

On the practical side, you will find ten ways you can start working on making the changes needed to make you a “woman magnet.” Learn why the “Nice Guy” always seems to finish last and end up alone rather than with the woman of his dreams.

Most importantly of all, learn how to become an Alpha Male, one that is more assertive and who is far more likely to be attractive to women. Discover what she really wants in What Women Want in a Man here

Pros Cons
Covers the traits most women are attracted to in simple manner Poorly written using a lot of generalities
Not filled with tricks and gimmicks that don’t work Repetitive information
Focuses on the male side of the relationship A little shallow


6. Make Her Crave You – Greg Hart

Make Her Crave You - Greg Hart

Are you a guy with his life together… well all except one part?

Make Her Crave You is more like a beginners system to help guide you through how to reveal that part of you that women want to see.

In this way, it’s more focused on guys who are successful in other parts of their lives.  And just need to sort out their relationship.

You won’t get any scripted lines here. In fact, the book is written on the premise that men simply have a problem demonstrating their worth to women (which I agree is a big problem that guys have). It’s not about changing you, more enhancing.

Make Her Crave You will challenge your beliefs and take you out of your comfort zone, so it isn’t for everyone. Get your copy here

Pros Cons
No lines or magic tricks A little dated
Focused on attracting the women you want Some parts are repetitive
Bonuses included A little more expensive than some other options

7. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus – John Gray Ph.D.

#1 New York Times bestseller

This is the classic book on the subtle differences between women and men. So not only do you get to understand females better, you understand yourself as well

It has been updated, but the information is as good today as when it was first released. It covers how both sexes prefer to interact with each other, as well as how we think differently. And if you’ve ever heard of the ‘points system’ couples use, I believe it started here

There are a lot of analogies and John Gray has a great way of painting pictures in the reader’s mind to help explain topics

Get your copy (if you don’t already own it) of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus here

Pros Cons
Easy and entertaining read A little oversimplified
Chapters focused on language are good Parts on keeping love alive may not be relevant
Examples given Advice taken from observation rather than research

8. The Female Brain (Movie) – Whitney Cummings

A movie about why women do what they do

I know this list is about books… However, if you’re looking for a different perspective on learning about female psychology you might like this (even if it’s just for a change)

The Female Brain is loosely about understanding why women make the choices they make

The star (Whitney Cummings) plays a brain researcher who is explaining the different parts of the two brains (male and female) in this way.  Then there are examples played out by the couples

It’s light-hearted and good to watch with friends. It’s aimed at more of a chick flick audience but it can be good to go ‘undercover’ and learn from these types of resources occasionally. See it here

Pros Cons
Entertaining and light-hearted Not a book
Informative ‘Chick flick’ might put some guys off
A different take on what can be a dry subject Not as actionable and straightforward advice as others on this list

9. My Secret Garden – Nancy Friday

Where other books dare to tread

Written in the 1970s, Nancy Friday thought it would be a good idea to start documenting women’s fantasies. So she put an ad in the local classifieds and this book is what came back

My Secret Garden is a great book. And I recommend it, especially if your a guy who puts women up on a pedestal. It gives a real look at women and what drives them from this unique angle (their fantasies and innermost thoughts). It’s a real eye opener

Well worth the read but read it somewhere private. It is very graphic so that may or may not be to some peoples taste

Get your copy of My Secret Garden here

Pros Cons
Entertaining read Very graphic language
Informative No real ‘how to’ style content, more story based
Open and honest You’ll never look at women the same way again (might be a good thing)

10. The Language of Lust – Lawrence Lanoff

The Language of Lust - Lawrence Lanoff

Does talking about sex with women scare you?

Many guys aren’t sure of how to broach the subject of sex with women.

And although it’s only a small thing, it can leave you feeling like you’re missing out on something…

If this is you then The Language of Lust is a MUST READ.

Inside you will learn how to deal with your emotions as well as what to say and do with techniques you can use.

It will help you understand where she is coming from and how to interact with her around the topic of sex and intimacy (which can be a big sticking point for guys)

It isn’t for beginners or those with little to no experience with women, but if you’re up for the challenge the rewards are there. Get your copy here.

Pros Cons
Lots of practical application techniques here Not for beginners or guys that haven’t much experience with women
Great advice on the correct way to be outwardly sexual with women A little dated
Bonuses included The membership site is hard to navigate

In Summary…

The ten resources above are a crash course in what makes women tick, and why they do what they do.

If you were to only read one or two, you would be in the top 99% of men who don’t have a clue about the women in their lives. Many time the information in books on female psychology like these has helped me understand what has happened in my relationships

And that removes a lot of the negative emotion and guesswork that I see many guys still doing. My advice is to buy all of these and save yourself the 5 years of rejection and family visits alone. But that’s just me.

If you have a question about any of the resources above, then contact me here

How to be Confident with Women & 2 Tips to Hack Your Self-Esteem

How to be confident with women - Guy talking to a group of girls doing cheers motion

How to be confident with women - Guy talking to a group of girls doing cheers motion

IF YOU ARE LIKE many guys trying to get better with women, you may think that all you need to appear more confident is do more:

  • Say more stuff to her
  • Have more techniques to approach her
  • Have more pickup lines

Unfortunately, talking too much is the perfect way to turn her off. A woman can always sense when you are over talking because you are nervous.

Why are guys nervous in the presence of women?

It is amazing how relaxed you are around your colleagues and friends, but the moment a pretty girl shows up, you are completely intimidated. Some of the reasons why guys clam up when they are in the presence of girls include:

Putting her on a pedestal

If many guys were to be honest, beautiful girls intimidate them because they (guys) put the girl on a pedestal before they even know her.

They feel as if the girl is a goddess and that they have to prove themselves and impress. Thinking like this will put a lot of pressure on a guy who thinks he always has to impress her and get her to like him.

The cure

Some will say that simply thinking this way ridiculous and you should try to talk yourself out of it. But from my experience this doesn’t work. The cure here is to meet (and date) more beautiful women. So that one exposure to a pretty woman isn’t as much of a big deal.

Being too hard on yourself

Many guys’ worst enemy is their own opinions about themselves.

You have a constant stream of thoughts that point out how less than perfect you are. You dwell on how you aren’t good looking; how you have physical flaws that need to be fixed; how you are a loner; that you have never kissed a girl; and that you are a loser…..

If you are too hard on yourself, you become insecure and eventually sabotage any chance you may have to be confident with girls.

The cure

While confidence and personality are more attractive to a girl than the things you are dwelling on. And you should consider for a minute that your looks and accomplishments probably don’t matter to a girl nearly as much as you think they do.

It’s hard to actually put in place. But I do have one way to fix this which is a bit of a weird one but it worked for me. Ready…

Create a different personality.

Yep. Instead of simply having you. Have different “you’s”. For instance if your name is John, you now have everyday “John”. And also “Good Time John”.

Everyday you is kinda shy around new people. He does his work and takes care of business at home, at work etc.

Good Time John goes out at night and has fun. He foremost interest is in having a good time and people who want to have a good time.

This is an overly simple explanation, but the theory behind it has helped me personally in many ways.

How to be confident with women - Guy singing karaoke with women
Singing can be seen as a sign you are confident… even if you are not a great singer

How to be confident around women

Everyone has their insecurities.

Being confident around beautiful women is not about never feeling insecure. It is about being comfortable in your own skin, and not allowing your insecurities get in the way of your pursuing girls that you are attracted to.

All confidence is acquired and developed. No man is born with confidence.

One big misconception by men that sabotages their efforts is that men have to do something to get the girl. Whether that is impress or talk or demonstrate something, etc.

Truly confident guys know that they DO NOT have to do anything. That it will happen naturally.

Analyze and destroy your self-sabotaging beliefs

Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. If you have been struggling with feeling confident around girls, it only makes sense to see what scares you and where it comes from.

For instance, let’s say you have approach anxiety. Have you ever stopped to contemplate why you have it? Why should it be so hard to walk up and say ‘hi?’

Maybe in the back of your mind you think that people are out to get you because you were abused or bullied in your past. Or perhaps you are scared by women because your mother smothered you as a child and you always feel inferior around girls.

If you taketime to conduct a thorough analysis, you would possibly realize that most of your anxiety has nothing to do with the girl standing in front of you.

Instead it comes from experiences at various stages of your youth and adolescence. If you objectively examined what went wrong and sought for ways to deal with your past situations, you would move forward in your dating life.

Manage your expectations

Many guys fear to go to women out of fear of rejection. They are insecure, and they take rejection too seriously. Expecting to always score a date or a relationship after approaching a girl is putting way too much pressure on yourself.

Change your mindset. The worst thing that a girl can do is to say no.

The first thing you need to realize is that rejection is not personal and it may be as a result of things you have absolutely no control over.

Regardless of your game or lack thereof, many times you will be rejected. Rejection is not meaningful until you empower it.

Also, do not put too much meaning into your interaction with her. Would you care if a random guy you did not know decided that he did not particularly like you? Then, why do you allow the opinion of a girl you have only briefly interacted with matter so much to you?

Treat an attractive girl the same casual way you would treat a friend or an unattractive girl.

Do not pedestalize the girl

The ability to take a girl off the pedestal is the difference between being successful with girls and being unsuccessful.

Treating the girl you are attracted to like a regular person and not like an idol is critical to your success. Treat her with dignity and respect her, but do not let her hold power over you while you grovel at her feet.

As stated above the best way to cure this is to meet more women. The more interactions you have, the less important each one becomes.

Take it one step at a time

The idea of approaching a woman and carrying out a conversation beyond the initial ‘hi’ can be daunting for many guys. However, you can gain confidence in your conversation skills through practice.

Start by saying hi’ to women as you walk down the street. You don’t even have to start a conversation; just smile, say ‘hi’ and don’t break your stride.

This may sound all too simple but make a habit of it. Get friendly with the girls you regularly see; at the coffee shop, the fast food place, the library. Make a few remarks as you order: get them to make a suggestion and engage them in a brief chat. With time, you will get comfortable talking to women, and you will build some confidence.

Gradually start to throw out some banter and then seek to further the interaction by making the conversation personal. Within no time, you will find that you can build sexual tension.

The point is always seeking to build your skills by taking your next interaction a step further than the previous one. Keep at this, and you will be confidently talking to women in no time.

Just go for it

When you want to approach a woman, you probably find yourself hesitating.

Unfortunately, when you hesitate, your mental barrier kicks into place. It becomes even harder to approach the girl. The longer you think about whether you should approach a girl or not, the more anxious you will feel. As such, you need to act more upon that first impulse.

Your first impulse is your best shot at actually approaching and talking to a girl. All the thinking that you do after the initial intention to approach only serves to scare you.

If you don’t move fast, you will either talk yourself out of approaching the girl or do it awkwardly. If you wait to feel utterly confident to approach a girl, the chances are that it will never happen. Give yourself a few seconds and get your feet moving towards the girl.

Momentum is an incredible thing. It is hard to get moving, but once you start moving, it is hard to stop.

One last tip

Do you still need some extra push to gain confidence? You can use affirmations before approaching the girl. Tell yourself something positive:

The outcome doesn’t matter; I am sexy; women enjoy talking to me.

Have a few affirmations that resonate with you to get motivated to get out there and do it.

The final approach

The beauty with approaching women is that there is so much you are in control of:

  • You decide whom to approach
  • Your attitude towards the girl
  • Where you are comfortable approaching
  • How long you want the interaction to last
  • How you treat the outcome of the interaction

When you realize how much power you have over the situation, you will feel empowered and much more confident to approach girls.

Do not give your power away by pedestalizing the girl, looking down upon yourself and assigning too much meaning to rejection.

How to Flirt with a Girl You Like

How to flirt with a girl you like - girl walking on a beach

How to flirt with a girl you like - girl walking on a beach


  • A friend of a friend
  • Someone you have seen around at school or work
  • Or a gorgeous girl you have just seen strolling by the beach

You psych yourself up, find the courage to approach her and initiate a conversation…

You get off to a good start: she is receptive, she is smiling and nodding.

However, a few minutes in, you can feel the energy plateau. And just like that, she excuses herself saying that she is waiting for a friend and she has to make a call.

What just happened?


Flirting is a low-risk method of initiating a conversation with a girl you are attracted to. The goal here is for her to want to spend more time with you. Flirting does this by being fun, playful and creating an enjoyable experience.

A side benefit is that flirting creates sexual tension which can make the girl instantly attracted to you.

It also communicates that you are confident, trustworthy and have something to offer, which is essential.

The art of flirting

A guy who has mastered flirting has the ability to seduce a girl without saying a word.

To flirt successfully, there are two conversations taking place simultaneously: the verbal and nonverbal. Many guys fail at flirtation because they emphasize on the verbal, while it is the nonverbal that is more important.

Did you know: Flirting is also crucial for long-lasting relationships?

Flirting is not only helpful in initiating dating, but it also helps partners to remain interesting to each other. It also helps to avoid getting trapped in a rut even after they have been in a relationship for a long time.

If you want to hone your flirting skills, consider the following suggestions.

Approach the girl

This may seem like an easy step, but it is where many guys fail.

Approaching the girl is the most challenging part of initiating contact. Some guys get stuck in their head, and instead of psyching themselves up, they end up thinking about all the reasons why the girl may not want to talk to them.

So, before you can convince yourself otherwise, you just have to walk up to the girl.

The safest way to approach

How do you determine whether the girl is open to your approach?

Make eye contact with her, and smile a couple of times. If she reciprocates, she is giving you an invitation to come over. You can then walk up to her.

LINK: More information on approaching girls

In any case, approach her anyway. You have nothing to lose. A few words and a few minutes are all you need to know if she is interested in you or not.

How to flirt with a girl you like - guy and girl fliring in a library

Body language

If you are interested in a girl, you want to make sure you do not give off any signs of nervousness or discomfort.

Ensure your body is relaxed, your hands are visible, and your demeanor is pleasant. Bear in mind that you can say a lot with your body language, so ensure you say all the right things.

Above all, learn how to create sexual tension with body language.

Eye contact

The basic technique of any flirting is eye contact. Eye contact is a strong gesture, it can communicate many different things: trust, charisma, loyalty, contempt.

When you meet a girl’s gaze, do not lower your eyes; look at her for a while and then look away. A good rule of the thumb for eye contact is 1-2 seconds before looking away.

You can also use the ‘staring competition’ tactic. This happens when you are flirting with a girl, and you look into her eyes, and then she happens to look at you, and your eyes meet up. The question is: who will look away first?

You should not be the one to look away first; this is a sign of submission. But as soon as she looks away, break the eye contact as well or you will appear creepy.

The smile

Smiling is one of the easiest ways to make a girl know that you are interested in her. However, some experts indicate that a huge, gleaming, pearly, white smile might communicate desperation.

They instead recommend a smirk. A smirk is the standard smile’s seductive brother.  Remember, everything you do must have a sexual undertone. You want to be James Bond, not Jim Carrey.

Gentle touches

The touch is one of the most powerful forms of romantic communication. You must calibrate your touch depending on the emotional distance between you and the girl.

Touch ranges from a handshake, a pat on the shoulder, a light push, a hug from the side, to a full hug. So, look for opportunities to touch the girl lightly, sometimes accidentally.

Some examples are:

  • Shake hands when you first introduce yourself
  • Place your hands on her arms to gently move her because someone is passing
  • Tap her arm lightly when sharing a laugh
  • Put your hand on her lower back while guiding her through ahead of you
  • Push her if she teases you back

Give the girl compliments

Giving a girl compliments is one of the easiest ways of flirting with her. An effective compliment simply means picking something that you like about the girl and telling her you to like it. All you need to do is to ensure that you are genuine about it.

  • I saw you over here and just had to tell you that I like your style.

(Revealing that you noticed the girl will make her feel good about herself and like you more)

  • Your eyes are gorgeous.

(This one will work best if you say it with enthusiasm and excitement)

  • I love your jacket.

(This is a good one for initiating touch. Touching her arm lightly is a safe option)

The trick to giving compliments is to avoid being too generous with them because then you will not sound sincere. Also, ensure your compliments are not generic.

Teasing the girl

One of the most efficient ways to get a girl’s attention is by teasing her. However, ensure that you do not go overboard or the girl will feel insulted.

  • Are you trying to break the world shopping record?
  • Your fur coat made me think of a bear……… did you kill it yourself?
  • I like your smile, but I think you have something in your teeth (only use when she has something in her teeth)
  • You’re from Canada? Is it true that Canadians keep a bottle of maple syrup on them at all times?

The secret with teasing a girl is not even what you say, as much as how you say it.

If you are not sure you can deliver teases neatly, avoid them altogether. Otherwise, she might find them insulting

Flip the ‘frame’

In the natural progression of relationships, the guy is supposed to chase the girl and prove to her that he is worthy of being chosen by her.  But these days it’s important that you also see yourself as the ‘prize’.

Increase your value and make the girl qualify herself; of course, all this is done in a flirt.

For instance, you can invite the girl over for a movie and popcorn but only if she promises not to touch you.

This may appear to be counter-intuitive, but it works very well because you communicate with a girl that she needs to work for you because you are ‘of value’.

  • You look like trouble!
  • You are not one of those stalker types: are you?
  • Let us take this slowly…. I do not want to get hurt.
  • Hey, my eyes are up here *point to face*. (For when you catch her looking down – even at the ground)

Bridging (the new ‘close’)

Closing is what salespeople call going in for the sale. And some dating experts call going for the phone number ‘a close’.

But the truth is that you never really ‘close’ in relationships. Closing is finishing and you want to see her again (otherwise you probably wouldn’t be reading this). So instead you want to create a bridge to the next interaction

If everything has gone according to plan up to this point, the girl is probably waiting for you to ask for her number. Go ahead and do exactly that.

This is important! It lets her know that you are genuinely interested. She also thinks of it as testing your reliability.

If you are feeling good about the interaction you will have no problem asking for her number:

  • Tell her you enjoyed the interaction but you have to leave
  • Tell her that you should do this again sometime
  • Ask for her number / or suggest a date
  • Smile

Maggie, this has been so much fun, and we should do it again sometime, but I have to leave … I just need your number before I go. Smile.

Advanced Bridging

The best way I found was to bring up things that I or she likes doing or am going to do in the near future.

If I found that the topic of running was one we both clicked with, then I would maybe find out what time of the week she runs. Then I’d invite her to do it together. In a fun, flirty way.

  • ‘We should run together, I’m always looking for someone to hold my drink bottle.’
  • ‘I think I would run better with someone chasing me’

Don’t base your invitation around advice. Either asking for or giving her advice when you are bridging.

Women don’t like that. It’s more of a man thing. Instead, as in the examples, let her know that time with you will be full of fun and adventure.


Like any other skill, flirtation demands practice. The more you flirt, the more your confidence grows. You do not have to wait to flirt with girls that you are attracted to. Whenever the opportunity arises, walk up to a woman, make contact, talk to her for a bit and watch your confidence grow.

You are also making the world a better place, one smile at a time.

With time, you will realize that you can be yourself in the presence of a gorgeous woman, and not only have a conversation with her but also flirt your way to attraction. Happy flirting!

How to Approach a Woman – The 7 Traits of a Successful Single Man

How to approach a girl - A girl

How to approach a girl - A girl sitting at a resteraunt

“HOW DO I APPROACH A WOMAN?” IS  probably the most common question asked by single guys everywhere.

The answer to successfully approaching a woman exists in your attitude.

And when I say attitude, I also mean your mindset/outlook/ethos.

It is your attitude when trying to attract a woman that determines how much success you will have. And this is where many guys go wrong; they try to figure out the appropriate pickup line, the perfect body language, or the classic joke.

Forget all that.

The only thing that matters when approaching a woman you like is your attitude. Develop the right attitude, and it will not matter how old, broke, fat, or intelligent you are.

As long as you have the wrong attitude: you think she is better than you, you feel that you do not deserve her, and doubt your abilities to attract her, you stand no chance.

Now is the time to get into the right mindset, get out there, and start meeting those remarkable women.

1. Confidence

Confidence is a strong presence and purpose in a guy that is often contagious.

Scientifically, confidence plays into women’s desire to want to mate with the leader of a pack. When a guy is confident, he makes those around him feed off his energy and feel empowered. Confidence draws girls in because it communicates that you are a guy worth liking.

The girl wants you to take the lead, but you cannot lead without confidence. If you have ever asked a girl ‘Where would you like to go?’ Most probably, you received the answer, ‘I don’t know. Why don’t you pick somewhere?’ In other words, she wants you to lead, even if she will probably never tell you.

Women want a man who can make plans and reach a decision. Even if she disagrees with your decision, she will tell you, but she will always respect that you take the lead.

From asking the girl out to making a move, to initiating sex… it will be your job to lead.

Remember, fortune respects the bold.

2. Conviction

Conviction is powerful. When you are approaching a girl, you must believe that you deserve her and you can win her over. Many guys are very good at coming up with excuses not to approach attractive girls:

  • She probably has a boyfriend.
  • She’s out of my league
  • I don’t want to make a fool of myself
  • She is probably sick of guys hitting on her

If you are not convinced that you can win girls over, you will always stand in the way of meeting amazing women.

There a huge difference between thinking, ‘I am the prize’ and ‘I am not good enough for the girl.’

One writer noted that the men of the previous generations when narrating how they met their wives always say something like:

“I noticed her in a local charity event in the neighborhood. I had never seen her before, but she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She just lit up the room. I knew there, and then that I was going to marry her……’

This is the conviction that we are talking about. Having this kind of self-assurance that you are worthy of the girl is great. It gives you the confidence that you need to approach any girl and tell her how you feel.

3. Respect

Many guys think that women want to be with bad guys, but they could not be further from the truth. Girls are attracted to a man who shows them respect.

Some guys are yet to realize that yelling across the street, grabbing girls to dance and harassing them in public does not earn their attraction.

In fact here are some counter-intuitive ways that will show her you respect her and get her attention…


When you approach a girl, apologize for bothering her before you say anything else. “Pardon me for interrupting…” “Excuse me, but…”

Introduce yourself

The next step is to introduce yourself so that she knows who you are. Do not launch into a speech you have planned before at least introducing yourself. “My name is Tom and I ….”

Choose your compliments wisely

The easiest way to make a girl feel insulted is by commenting on her body. Choose you compliments wisely otherwise, you will end up sounding like a jerk and offending the girl.

TIP – Comment on something she has done/chosen/earned. “I couldn’t help but notice the way you…”

Accept her decision

At any point during your interaction with a girl, you may be met with resistance. If she says no, do not be rude or mean about it. Tell her it was nice meeting her and be on your way.

Approach a woman with respect because if she respects herself, she is not going to accept anything less from you.

4. Mystery

Mystery brings excitement, uncertainty, and anticipation. Do not be a predictable guy doing what every other guy out there is doing. Be spontaneous and add some mystery to your ways.

If you are mysterious, it also eliminates the risk of coming across as needy or desperate. Surprising the girl with unexpected gestures will make her attracted to you.

Also, do not lay it all on the table during your first meeting with a girl. Keep a little to yourself so that you can intrigue her and make her want to know more about you. You should always send the message that there is more to you than meets the eye.

5. Loyalty

Many guys cannot keep themselves from flirting with every girl around them. You are eyeing a particular girl, and yet you are flirting with other women around her. What message are you sending her? That you are not ready for a committed relationship; that you are addicted to the attention; you are selfish, and you will neglect her in future?

How to approach a woman - Many girls at the bar

Do not show attention to other women

If you are clearly interested in a girl, do not give any attention to other women. When a girl realizes that you have eyes only for her, she cannot resist.

You can interact and socialize with other women but if there is a girl you like around, ensure that she gets the message that you only have eyes for her.

If you clearly send this message you can make her feel like the sexiest woman in the room, and she will definitely be interested in you:

  • Do not look other women up and down in front of her.
  • Do not watch other girls walk away
  • Ensure she is an integral part of the conversation
  • Acknowledge her more than the other women around.

6. Authenticity

Unfortunately, a lot of information out there on how to attract women is based on playing games. However, the games always end up more hurtful than attractive and women have become attuned to whether you are being yourself or not.

A girl will be more attracted to you when she is assured of not falling in love with a man who turns out completely different once he feels like he has her in his grip.

7. Patience

Many guys do not know how to hold back their desire for a girl. They come on entirely too strong too fast. They want to speed up their romantic and sexual encounters. Unfortunately, women are more process-oriented, and they are keen on the dates, conversations, and emotions.

Experts say that a guy can decide if he wants to have sex with a girl within a few seconds and he immediately shifts into finish line mode. Girls, on the other hand, take time to decide if they like a man because they take a lot of things into consideration.

In the initial stages, a girl just wants to have a good time. If you throw too much affection too fast, too soon, you will scare her off.

Take your time to ensure a girl is comfortable with you and feels secure before you can broach the subject of intimacy. Your interaction will be more meaningful when you allow it to develop organically.


Have the attitude that you are taking a risk, like others that you have taken in other areas of your life. No guy goes ten for ten when approaching women.

This attitude will help you not to take rejection as a judgment on you as a person. If you allow rejection to shatter your self-esteem, you will never find that special woman.

So this is the right attitude when approaching a woman: it is a risk and rejection has nothing to do with you.

It is not your fault. It was probably bad timing, or she was having a bad day, or you probably resembled her nasty boyfriend (Yes, it could happen). Expecting success all the time is setting yourself up for emotional paralysis.

If you are after more information, here is what you can say to a girl you just met, and a few quick tips for shy guys when it comes to meeting women.

I hope this article has answered some of your questions on how to approach a woman.

Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend? The Strengths of a Shy Guy When it Comes to Meeting Women

Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend - Man with long term girlfriend at breakfast table

Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend - Man with long term girlfriend at breakfast table


The answer is a resounding YES!

The challenge

The challenge of shy guys finding girlfriends is more an attribute of their beliefs of inadequacies than lack of attraction from the girls. Shy guys feel as if they are at a disadvantage when it comes to finding girlfriends.

Since they are not naturally inclined to chat people up and make small talk with strangers, they believe that their odds of finding girlfriends are much lower than for the more outgoing guys. Shy guys spend so much time stressing over what they cannot do that they completely ignore their strengths.

Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend - Taking selfie togetherShy guys perceive themselves as sexually unattractive

According to the experts, shy guys have limiting beliefs that sabotage their love lives. Even when a shy guy has a thriving career and enjoys financial success, he still does not see himself as sexy. Deep down, he is still not confident that women are sexually attracted to him. This “sexual unattractiveness” is a result of faulty stereotypes. It has little to do with objective reality.

The reality

According to research, 40-60 % of adults self-identify as having some degree of shyness. This statistic proves that shy people are more common than we probably think. Indeed, according to Forbes, 40 % of executives describe themselves as introverts.

The list includes Microsoft`s Bill Gates, Uber investors Warren Buffet and Charles Schwab, Avon`s CEO Andrea Jung, and the late Publishing Mogul Katherine Graham. It has been said that the former US president Barrack Obama might be a shy introvert as well.

If you are shy, remember that you are in good company. And chances are if you do not approach the girl, the next shy guy will.

What if you can use your shyness to your advantage?

Shy guys possess one edge over the outgoing men- they can be mysterious. You have a definite advantage over talkative guys who run their mouths and overwhelm girls, leaving very little to the imagination. Girls are intrigued by you and are willing to spend time with you to unravel the mystery.  Girls feel safe and confident around shy guys. Shy guys are also a girl`s dream conversationalist.

There is nothing inherently wrong with you that would prevent you from meeting and having a great relationship with an amazing girl. With a few well-considered strategies, you can get a healthy, long-lasting relationship going.

Indeed, smart girls know that shy guys are diamonds in the rough.

Research shows that a shy guy may have difficulties initiating a relationship but little trouble maintaining intimacy. Once you have met your dream woman, you are at no significant disadvantage in maintaining the relationship.

Harness your strengths

Contrary to what you think, you have more great qualities that make you attractive to girls than you think.

Guy with girl on holidays

You are a great listener

This is actually what sets you apart from other guys.  You would rather learn from others than share your stories. As long as you listen closely, ask follow up questions and show interest, you will be amazed at how easy it is keeping a conversation with a woman going.

Your not all about you

The fact that you do not always have to be the center of attention is also super attractive to girls.

You are a thinker

It is a known fact that shy guys are also deep thinkers. You are a hot commodity. The fact that you think deeply and critically about life shows you have emotional intelligence and a creative mind, which girls find interesting.

You are mysterious

The fact that you are reserved means that you are full of surprises and conversation with you is never boring. She learns information about your life a little bit at a time. A woman would rather be with a guy with a few secrets up his sleeve, instead of a man who lets everybody know everything about him immediately.

Girls indicate that shy guys are less intimidating. You may not believe this, but girls can be intimidated by guys. An introverted guy who does not ooze obnoxious confidence is more enjoyable to be around.

Use your body

Just because you are not good at flirting verbally does not mean that you cannot flirt. Do you slouch when you walk? Do you awkwardly shove your hands into your pockets? This body language is counterproductive to your efforts at finding a girl.

Purpose to build a strong, confident body language and you will begin to feel more confident. Ensure you smile.  Smiling makes you feel less anxious and more positive.

Body Language

Learn to speak in the vocabulary of your body language. While other guys are busy rattling off cheesy pickup lines, you should be busy giving her a friendly smile, and she will notice.

Once you have worked on your body language, dress for success. The right sense of style can give you an added boost to help you project confidence. A strong sense of style will help you make a great first impression, which can open the door to a girl wanting to know more about you.

Have you heard of power posing?

According to research, holding your body in poses that occupy space floods your brain with powerful chemicals that help to lower stress and increase confidence. Projecting strength is possible even when you feel anxious and nervous: upright posture, controlled gestures, a leveled brow, a focused gaze, a low vocal pitch and minimal fillers.

Take baby steps

When you set out to find a girlfriend, do not expect to master the art overnight. Start small and then expand your comfort zone a little every day.

Drop the habits that keep you isolated, lonely and antisocial

Stop playing video games: ditch the computer and exchange it for human interaction. Here are some examples of groups you could join:

  • Bible discussion groups
  • Groups and clubs
  • Salsa dance classes

Start approaching girls: simply push your comfort zone a little at a time. It will be nerve-wracking at first, but you will slowly build your confidence.

  • Start with asking directions: “kindly point me out to the nearest Starbucks.”
  • Then move on to asking girls for their opinions in a department store. Approach a girl and ask them for a female’s opinion: “Hey, can you help me out? I need a girl`s opinion. Between these two shirts, which one is better?”

Be consistent

You will feel awkward, nervous, and uncomfortable and sometimes you will be scared. Comfort will never get you a girlfriend. Discomfort is good. Do not run away from your discomfort.

Instead, make it your campus. Allow your discomfort to lead you to an amazing girlfriend. Discomfort tells you that you are headed in the right direction. Keep moving.

Start where you are comfortable

Do not make it hard when it can be easy. Start with your places of comfort and then you can expand once you have gained the confidence. The strategy is to expose yourself in places where you can be yourself: where the quiet, reserved, kind, compassionate person like you can be noticed.

You will probably be more comfortable approaching girls in parks, quiet streets, and libraries than at clubs, crowded events and concerts and parties. Spiritual communities, volunteer organizations, and cooking classes are some of the forums where you can hope to meet girls who share your values, lifestyles and personal energy.

The wrong environment leads to horrible results because you feel horrible in that environment.

Stop thinking about how to meet any girl. Think about how to meet a girl who is right for you. In your quest to meet a girlfriend, it is crucial that you put yourself in situations where you can meet girls who you are compatible with. If you are shy and introverted, there is every likelihood that the girls you meet in nightclubs and ‘single people events’ will not be compatible with you.

Make your dating life an expansion of your social life

The best way to date without stress is to make your dating an extension of your social life. For instance, being introduced to a girl by a friend is still one of the many ways guys get to meet girls. It removes all the nervousness of meeting a stranger for the first time on your part and settles issues of security for her.  And you already have something in common: mutual friends.


Do not give up when you do not get the progress you hope for. And here is the truth: it will not always feel good. Girls will sometimes flake on you; you will not always get the kiss you hope for, and you might even be rejected …..And it sucks.


All these experiences are necessary for your growth. There are no ups without downs. And there are lessons in the valley just as there are on the mountain.  Do not allow relapses to sabotage your success. Fix your eye on the prize and keep moving. You have what it takes to get a girlfriend…. But only if you persevere.

Thanks for reading this guide on Can Shy Guys Get a Girlfriend – The strengths of a shy guy when it comes to meeting women. If you have a comment or question, you can contact me here.

“How to Know if You Like Someone?” – The 7 Tell-Tale Signs You Want More Than Her Friendship

How to Tell if You Like Someone - Two people sitting close to each other

How to Know if You Like Someone - Two people sitting close to each other

IT MAY SOUND STRANGE TO SAY that you do not know whether you like someone or not. ..

But the truth is that you can be completely ignorant of the fact that you have developed feelings for someone else.  Experts say that this happens the most with someone you have known for a long time.

Luckily, your body has some sneaky ways of tipping you off when you have romantic feelings for someone.

Your mind can play tricks on your feelings.

Another reason why it is important to be sure of the nature of the feelings you have for someone else is your very own brain.  Your brain can inhibit you from truly realizing your feelings for another person. For instance, you might be convinced that you cannot possibly have feelings for a certain person because of this or that reason.

Sometimes, you may also think that you have feelings for someone because you are lonely.  When you are lonely, you unconsciously search for companionship.  Maybe you like spending time with a certain individual because you do not want to be alone.

Explore your hidden feelings.

There are many signs that literally scream: ‘Hey, you like that girl!’  The trick is to pull down your blinders and examine how you truly feel about her.  And you must be willing to be completely honest with yourself.

Keep an eye on these telltale signs the next time you aren’t sure about your feelings for a certain woman.

You think about her… a lot

If you like a girl, you may feel like you cannot get her off your mind.  Scientists say that this is because when you like someone, your brain releases phenylethylamine; also known as the love drug.  This is the hormone that induces the feelings of infatuation with someone.

Fun Fact.  According to Helen Fisher, an anthropologist when you like someone, you spend 85% of your waking hours thinking about them.  

Everything reminds you of her

When you like a woman, your subconscious mind is constantly focused on her.  Every little thing you see reminds you of her: “Melissa would love this restaurant!’ ‘I wonder what she is doing.’  Even the book at the library seems like one she would be interested in. You keep having these little reminders because you think about that girl a lot and a part of you wants to be with her.

Fun Fact: “Phenylethylamine is also found in chocolate.  This may explain why you find it hard to stop after just one cube.

You are excited when she calls or texts you.

If you feel that what she has to say to you is more important than anyone else, the girl means something more to you.  It is as simple as that. Scientists believe that this single-mindedness results from elevated levels of central dopamine, a chemical that is involved in attention and focus in your brain.

You feel as if you are high when you are in their presence

It is completely normal to feel out of your mind when you are falling for some.  Scientists say that dopamine is responsible for this euphoria. When you are falling in love, there is heightened neural activity in the dopamine-rich areas of the brain.

Indeed, they further indicate that romantic feelings trigger activity in the area of the brain that is linked to obsessive thinking.

Research by Kinsey Institute revealed that the brain of a person who is falling in love resembles the brain of a person who has taken cocaine.  Dopamine is responsible for both situations. Is it any wonder people in relationships can sometimes act completely irrationally?

You just want her to be happy

Do you want to know you are falling in love?  It is not just about you anymore. Her happiness becomes really important to you.  You are willing to get out of your way to make her life easier and happier.

When her boss is treating her badly, you help her figure out what to do.  If she has a cold, you are at the store buying soup and crackers. When she gets into a fight with her sister, you distract her so that she can cheer up.

You are willing to bend your own rules and try new things.  ‘You want to eat at the vegetarian restaurant?’ ‘Yeah, sure!’  ‘And yoga afterward?’  ‘Of course.’  ‘Will you walk my dog tomorrow?’ ‘I would love to.’

Because you know what?  When she happy, laughing and so alive, there’s just nothing else like it.  This is love.

Research shows that people in love generally feel a strong sense of empathy towards their loved one.  They feel the other person’s pain as their own, and they will sacrifice anything for the other person.

You get jealous when you see her with someone else.

Do you get annoyed when you see her with someone else?  Jealousy is one of the most obvious signs that you like someone more than just as a friend.  Scientists say that people who are in love exhibit signs of possessiveness, jealousy, separation anxiety and fear of rejection.

Indeed, experts indicate that jealousy is actually healthy in the formation of relationships.  They say that jealousy is the adaptation that helps relationships to stay intact by making partners sensitive to potential threats.  Jealous people tend to be more committed to relationships.

You are completely engaged when you are with her

When you are with her, nothing else matters and time becomes irrelevant.

You will hardly notice the other people around you and you don’t remember to check your phone the entire time you are with her. As a matter of fact, there is nowhere else you want to be at that moment.

You are completely drawn to her, and you hang onto every word.  Your body language is different when with her. You find yourself leaning forward to listen more attentively.  She is like a magnetic pull that you have no desire or ability to stop.

In a study, researchers found that individuals who were in love found their passion involuntary and uncontrollable.  Many participants in the study expressed feelings of helplessness, indicating that their obsession was irrational and instinctive.

Indeed, they compare romantic love to addiction.  They say that lovers exhibit all the signs of an addict:

You feel a rush of exhilaration when thinking about her, you become obsessed with her, distort reality, change priorities or do extreme things to impress her or remain in contact with her.

Fun Fact: Romantic love is an addiction: a wonderful addiction when the relationship is going well, a horrible, disastrous, negative addiction when the relationship breaks down.  Lovers also relapse the way drug addicts do. After a relationship has ended, people, events, places, smells, songs associated with the abandoning partner still trigger memories.

So, you like her.  Now what?

Falling in love is a wonderful basis for a healthy relationship.  However, bear in mind that building a healthy relationship takes much more.  Before you approach the girl, remember that falling in love doesn’t last forever.

Scientists say that this phase is temporary and it either evolves into a long-term, codependent relationship that psychologists refer to “attachment” or it dissipates, and the relationship dissolves.

The staying power of your relationship takes commitment and mutual investment.


Thanks for reading this guide on how to know if you like someone – 7 signs you want more than friendship with her. If you have any comments of questions, then you can contact me here

What to Say to a Beautiful Woman You Just Met & Examples You Can Use

man and woman meeting at a park bench

What to Say to a Beautiful Woman - man and woman meeting at a park bench

WOULDN’T IT BE NICE TO KNOW the perfect thing to say to a beautiful woman?

Unfortunately, flirting does not come naturally to all guys. Many lack something to say, while some do not even know where to start. Others overthink it, and by the time they gather their thoughts, she has already moved on.

It is not easy, but it isn’t hard either

Approaching women might seem like it requires some complex strategies and carefully selected pickup lines.

But really, you just need a little bit of faith in yourself and some confidence. If you are crushing on a girl, you do not have to tell her things that are over the top, elaborate and rehearsed. A relaxed, casual attitude is the key to a positive first impression.

The mistake you make before you even start

Your mindset: Pedestal-izing

Most of the times, a guy will have trouble talking to a girl he has just met because feels like the girl is too beautiful, almost perfect, and, therefore, much better than he is. He places the girl on a pedestal way above himself, and then convinces himself that he needs some special approach talking to this girl.

This mindset is most inaccurate, and it will always fail you. Anytime you see a gorgeous girl that you like you will feel anxious and become clumsy around her. As a result, you will unconsciously drive away girls that you are attracted to every single time.

If you have been having problems talking to girls you like, here are all some points for you to consider.

The first impression

How she perceives you plays a huge role in her willingness to engage you. Even when you get together, she will never forget that moment when you chat her up for the first time.

The key to success is to ensure that you make her feel good about herself and then start a meaningful conversation she would like to participate in. The secret to a perfect first impression involves getting the timing right, avoiding appearing creepy, being socially relevant and exiting at the right moment.


Timing is of utmost importance when approaching a girl. Do not try to attract a her attention when she is obviously engaged in something else.

For instance, you spot your dream girl in the parking lot of the supermarket. She is talking on the phone while juggling ten grocery bags and is fumbling for her keys. This is not an ideal time to approach her. She is obviously in a hurry. She will not have time to look at you, let alone decide whether you are worth giving her number to.

Do not be creepy

This is of absolute importance when approaching a woman. Compare approaching a woman seated in a park on a sunny day with chasing after a woman who is walking home through the same park at night.

One way of helping a woman feel at ease is by introducing yourself. Introducing yourself will immediately alleviate the creepy factor.

Be socially relevant

The way you approach a woman will vary depending on the time and place of your interaction. Compare complimenting a woman on her legs in a bar and doing the same in a bookstore. Do you expect to get the same reaction?

It would be more relevant to introduce yourself to the woman in the bookstore and say something like, ‘I see you love the classics too. Can you recommend a good one?’ In the same way, asking the woman in the bar which books she likes to read might make her think you are the most boring guy. Good luck getting her number.

What to say to a beautiful woman you just met

Shy or outspoken, you can win her over with your charm as long as you know the right things to say. Do not overthink it. Remember, you are not the only one who is nervous . She is nervous too. Set out to have a good time and you will do just fine.

Sweet things to say to a girl you just met - banter with her.
Girls love banter. Creating an ‘in’ joke and being playful can go along way to creating a connection.

Banter with her

Bantering helps to ease the tension that comes with meeting someone for the first time. It also takes the pressure off yourself. If you can get the girl to relax, smile and have fun early in the conversation, you will win her interest, and you can then confidently carry the conversation further.

What to say to her:

  • You can pretend that she is hitting on you… ‘Uhm, excuse me, my eyes are up here!’
  • Do you mind if I talk to you? My mother always told me to follow my dreams.
  • I was just trying to have a guy’s night out and you totally ruined it. You had to be so beautiful.
  • Your eyes have told me a lot of things. The only thing they have not told me is your name.
  • I saw you checking me out. If I didn’t come and say ‘hi’, I was scared you would follow me home later.
  • Did you save this seat for me?

Remember, this is 99% delivery and not necessarily what you say. The key to saying these lines is to be bold and confident but at the same time playful. No woman wants a man who is too serious.

Give her compliments

Genuine, thoughtful compliments always go down well with girls. They literally can’t get enough of them. Do not be fake in your compliments because she will know. One of the best compliment is about her age. You can tell her that you guess she is 21 and ask to see her ID. Girls love hearing they look young.

Other compliments that you can give her include:

  • You look terrific in that dress.
  • When I saw you I had to come over and tell you, you look beautiful… *otherwise i’d regret it – (*not always necessary)
  • Your smile is glowing today. What has made you so happy?
  • Your eyes are beautiful. Are you wearing contact lenses? (Only give this compliment if you are sure that she is not wearing contact lenses)
  • Great job on the play last night. You played Macbeth perfectly. I was really impressed.
  • You sounded amazing on the violin. When did you learn how to play like that?

Again delivery is critical. Even the best compliment will fall flat if the delivery is not on point:

  • Keep a half smile as you deliver your compliment
  • Maintain eye contact with her
  • Speak softly: this communicates intimacy, and it might make her lean in closer to hear you.

An excellent compliment should lead to more conversation instead of hanging awkwardly in the air. Choose your compliments wisely.

If you were participating in an activity together, tell her how much you enjoyed spending time with her. Let her know the effect her presence had on you.

You could say things like:

  • Spending time with you has been the highlight of my day.
  • I feel comfortable with you. I can really be myself.
  • When I met you this morning, I was sad. Your beautiful smile helped change my mood.
  • Meeting you today is the best thing that has happened to me.
  • You are fun. I have enjoyed spending my day with you.
girl talking with guy at the bar
Putting the spotlight on her is where you both want it during your early conversations

Show interest in the girl

You just met the girl so by now; you do not even know her name. The girl is still a stranger at this point, and she is also still trying to figure out what your deal is and whether she wants to continue talking to you.

So ask for her name, tell her you are delighted to meet her and then express your interest in her by… taking some interest (funnily enough)

You must be approaching her for a reason, figure out what it actually is (not she’s hot, why do you think she is hot) then let her know.

Start by telling her what you think of her…

i.e. I think you look amazing in that … (coat, dress, pantsuit etc.)

Talk about the environment you are in

This is a great one to help bond you early on. Kind of like it’s you two looking at something and forming a view/opinion on it together.

Ask questions about her

After you have established a rapport, you can ask her some questions. Asking questions is a great way to show interest in a woman and take some of the pressure from yourself. Rather than having you come up with things to say, you can spend some time hearing what is in her mind. You will seem thoughtful, and she will find you attractive.

  • If she is reading a book or listening to music, ask her something about it: I like your Harry Potter backpack. Are you a big fan of the books?
  • If she is snacking on something unusual, ask her about it.
  • If she is flipping through a magazine ask her questions to start up a conversation.

After you have established a rapport, you can then move on to some more personal questions:

  • Who is the one person that you think made you who you are today?
  • If you could go anywhere right now, where would you take me? 🙂

The key is to allow the conversation to flow naturally and progressively introduce new questions. Look for things that the two of you have in common and expand on these topics.

Exit fashionably

Here is the trick: always leave on a high note. Many guys make the mistake of approaching a girl, striking up a conversation successfully but then blow it by sticking around too long.

Most of the times, you will meet a woman in social places where there are many distractions. Do not aim at having a deep conversation with her. The most important thing is to make a connection. Do not wait until you have run out of things to say and awkward silences set in. Get her number and leave before that happens. You will have accomplished your goal.

The exception to this rule is if you are undertaking an activity together, like volunteering. In this case, you will be okay because you are not entirely focused on each other.

Trick: Create a ‘time constraint’ when meeting a girl for the first time. Creating a time constraint helps because:

  • It lets the girl know that she only has to put up with your presence for a short time. This way, she will be more motivated to give you her full attention.
  • It helps you to bow out graciously. Since you already established that you have limited time, you can grab her number and excuse yourself the moment you feel the awkward silence approaching.

So say something like:

  • I have to get back to my friends, but I had to tell you how great you look. I really love how you have your own unique style!


Do not interrogate the girl.

Even when you ask her questions, let the conversation flow organically and only introduce new questions when the conversation begins to lull.

Do not try too hard

When you try too hard, you sound unnatural for instance. Showing too much approval for responses is a complete turn-off.

Guy: What do you do for fun?

Girl: Uh… nothing really. My life is pretty boring

Guy: That’s cool sounds like a pretty stress-free life

Do not try to guess things about her

Guys try to do this all the time, but it can easily backfire. It can also come across as a magic trick or some kind of gimmick. You don’t want either of these things when your trying to show her your authenticity.

Do not insult her

Since approaching a girl is pretty nerve-wracking, some guys end up insulting her even without realizing it.

Guy: What do you study?

Girl: I am studying photography.

Guy: Really? How will you ever make money from that?

Compare this response to:

Guy: Really? You must be very driven to get into such a competitive industry as photography!

See how the guy has managed to point out how difficult a career path photography is and at the same time turned it into a compliment. Double score!

Do not be boring

When talking to a girl for the first time, the worst thing you can do is bore her. Firstly she will lose all interest to get to know you better, and she will assume that you are like every other guy who has hit on her before.

Guy: How long have you lived here?

Girl: all my life

Guy: So you like it here then?

Girl: It’s okay

Guy: Yeah I’ve lived here a pretty long time too

Compare the last response to:

Guy: (laughing) you don’t sound too happy about that.

The bottom line

Getting some practice is the key. Using dating apps can be a great place to practice along with the talking to the girls behind the counter at the supermarket, restaurant etc.

Making her smile is the start of a bond.

Thanks for reading this article on what to say to a beautiful woman you just met. If you have any comments or questions you can contact me here. 

How to Attract Younger Women & Use Your Age to Your Advantage

How to Attract Younger Women - A woman and man enjoying a hot drink together

How to Attract Younger Women - A woman and man enjoying a hot drink together

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT to yourself that it was not possible to attract and date younger women?  You think: ‘cute girls would never date an old geezer like me!’ Or ‘why should I bother approaching her?  She’d just tell me that I am old enough to be her dad’.

You are so wrong

Let us get something straight.  Young women are actually attracted to older men.  Clinical psychologist, Sasha Lynn says that there are many reasons why young women are attracted to older men.

The older man is more confident and secure in himself and is more settled in his life and career.  His life is much less chaotic, and he is perceived to be more experienced socially as well as sexually.

Many young women feel that guys their age just don’t ‘get it.’  They want an older man who is in control of himself and his environment.

Furthermore, many studies suggest that women mature faster than men.  It is no wonder, therefore, that a younger woman might feel more comfortable with an older man.

A perfect match: Older men and younger women share the same need for connection.

Consider the following facts:

  • Young women have a massive need for connection. While they are busy building their careers, their main focus is to create lasting relationships and establish a family.
  • Young men, on the other hand, are more focused on the need for significance. As much as they may have relationships and want to have a family, their main focus is figuring a way to make it in the world.
  • The older man has spent his youth looking for money and power, and he has probably achieved them.  He is tired of the rat race, and he is looking for more connection.

A younger woman and an older man are compatible because they are both seeking for more connection.  She wants to settle own. He may be wanting to start a second family so that he can get it right this time since he neglected the first one in pursuit for money and power.

How to attract younger women

Your age does not have to be the stumbling block to a beautiful relationship.  Long lasting relationships are possible, even despite a huge age difference:

Donald and Melania Trump have an age difference of 23 years, George Clooney and his wife Amal have a 17 years age gap, Bruce Willis and Emma Heming have an age difference of 24 years, Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas have an age difference of 26 years…. and the list is endless.

Indeed, your age can be to your advantage when you are seeking a younger woman.

Change your mindset

Many guys are attracted to younger women, but they refrain from approaching them because of societal programming.

  • I shouldn’t date a woman that young.  It is just not right.
  • Everyone will think I am shallow if I date a woman that young.
  • A relationship with a woman that young would never work.  We are in completely differences places in life.

You can never have the younger woman that you desire if you harbor such thoughts in your mind.  There is absolutely nothing wrong, immoral or unethical with wanting to date a younger woman. After all, we have already established that young women are very attracted to older men.

How to attract younger women

Act your age

Many older guys think that the way to attract a younger woman is by acting younger.  This is not necessary. Trying to be something you are not is never attractive. Do not go around saying you are 29 while you are in fact 40, or telling people that you are 60, but you feel as if you are 35.

Embrace your age.  Be who you are:  you do not have to pretend to be what you are not to impress a younger woman.  Remember, there are tons of younger women that are looking to date older guys. Pretending to act younger when you are an older man is an easy way to get rejected by younger women.  Learn to play to your strengths instead of your weaknesses.

Ensure you are compatible

To stack the odds in your favor, ensure you share common interests with the younger woman.  Sometimes, the generational differences can be huge, that you have to ensure there is enough potential for a long-term relationship if that is what you are after.

Further, ensure that she is not looking for a father figure.  This is huge. Some girls have had bad relationships with their fathers, or they just never had fathers.  Looking for an older man might be their way of looking for a father figure.

They are looking for a provider, a protector and someone to nurture them: someone to fill the gap.   They are not looking for an equal relationship. This is not the kind of relationship you should sign up for.  It will never work.

Ensure that she is not only open to dating an older man but that she understands the challenges that may come with it.

  • Is she ready for people to say all sorts of things about your relationship?
  • Will her parents and siblings might disapprove of the relationship?
  • Is she comfortable hanging out with your older friends?

Be adventurous

While you want to be mature and adult, get a renewed thinking: you must be adventurous and fun to be around.  Young women are wild and adventure seekers.  The best way to connect with them is ride on with their curiosity and imagination.

  • Let her take you on adventures that you would never consider going on by yourself.
  • Take the initiative; be exciting and daring and let her do things she never thought she would do before.

This is one of the most powerful things you can do to keep a young woman interested.  You will both have a blast.

Be her rock

There is no doubt about it. While all women are emotional, a younger woman will have a lot of drama going on in her life.  Whenever she freaks out about something, you must not let it get to you. Learn to stay calm. Do not try to fix her problems and do not try to stand in for daddy.  That is one of the things she will love about you.

She will love that you can remain cool under any circumstances.  Remember, one of the unique offerings you bring to the table as an older guy is your stability and non-judgment.  So, be that rock and see what happens.

Keep the lines of communication open

The age differences might include differences in perceptions and role expectations.  Discuss your expectations with her.  Maybe she wants to have a child while you feel that you are past the age of having children.  Talk as much as possible so that neither of you misunderstands the relationship.

Prepare yourself for continuous change

When you are dating a younger woman, remember that she probably still have a few years of figuring herself out.  Keep an open mind and be ready to go with the flow.  Do not restrict or hinder her options.  Also, be prepared for the possibility that she may not be with you in the next few years.

Deal with this fact and be ready for it: New careers, new relationship expectations, new lifestyle and many other things will come into her life as she grows into a more mature woman.

How to deal with the “How old are you question.”

As we conclude, the question that older men dread the most when approaching a younger woman is the question: “Wait a minute, how old are you?”

Fear, nervousness, and embarrassment engulfs you and are at a loss how to exactly respond.

Should you tell your actual age and risk rejection


Should you simply lie and hope that she never finds out how old you really are?

The secret: Ask the question first

This helps you to beat her to the punch and ensures that she is on the defensive instead of you.

Envision the following conversation:

You: How old are you?

Her: (Truthfully her response doesn’t matter as you already know she is younger)

You: Oh, well…. You’re a bit too young for me.  I don’t think a relationship with you would ever work.

Her: But… (She will try to qualify herself, listing all the reasons why the relationship between the two of you would actually work).

Do you see what is happening here? You are disqualifying her because of her age and using her young age as the reason why the two of you cannot hook up. You have flipped the script, and instead of chasing her, you now have her chasing you.

The close…

Not all women will want to date an older man, but there is many who will after their not so fulfilling experiences with guys their own age. So if you get a few weird responses then try somewhere else.