YOU HAD AMAZING unforgettable experiences together and you love everything about her….
There’s just one problem; she has told you that it’s over. You start wondering how things got this far.
If it is of any consolation, even the best guys will sometimes mess up with a girl they love and make her run. The good news is that she does not equal happiness. And one day, you will be glad that you went through this, because it made you a better man.
The probable causes for losing your woman
If you can’t get over a girl, this is the clearest indication that you dropped the ball in a big way.
However, are you aware of precisely what it is you did that messed up your relationship?
Experts in relationship repair say that many guys always think that one blow up conversation ended things. There was a big fight, you said some stupid things, and she left.
You could not be further from the truth; if you think that a single conversation drove your girlfriend out, you are deluded. It was not the one text: the one argument; the mischosen words. It was a culmination of how you have been treating her.
- She started feeling like you did not want her. This one happens a lot. If at some point you stopped putting in as much effort and probably started ignoring, her that is where you lost her.
- She started feeling hurt, disrespected and insulted. This is one is common with guys who are insensitive and trying to manifest their ‘bad boy’ qualities. If you keep making a girl feel ugly and inadequate around you, you will lose her faster than you can imagine.
Whichever it was, the damage is done, it’s time to learn and move on…
1. Get yourself together
The end of your relationship can make you feel worse than just about anything else. You must realize that you will go through periods of grief namely:
If you want to succeed, do not panic. Get yourself together and do not do anything stupid. Remember, any girl would never want to be with you when you are in a state of anger, rage, self-pity or despair.
It is during the first three stages that you are likely to lose control of your will power by:
- Begging and asking for pit
- Feeling lonely although you have friends
- Thinking your ex is going to solve all your problems if she decides to get back with you
- Disrespecting your ex and calling her names
2. Create distance
You may think that you can be friends with your ex. If you think this, then here is a small section just for you.
Give your girlfriend some space and time. Experts talk about a ’no contact’ rule during which you do not speak to your girlfriend for a period of time.
Not being in contact with her for that long will be tough and it will hurt, but it will certainly give you room for reflection and help you to cool down your temper. Staying away from your girlfriend will:
- Help you avoid looking needy and insecure. Bear in mind that neediness and insecurity are the biggest attraction killers.
- Give you time to learn more about how to get your ex-friend back.
- Give her the time and opportunity to realize how amazing you actually are, to miss you, and realize that she really lost a friend.
- Create ‘fear of loss’ in your ex-girlfriend, and she might start second-guessing her decision.
Staying away from her increases your chances of getting her back.
3. What should you do if she contacts you
The ‘No contact’ rule does not mean that your girlfriend cannot reach out to you. Indeed, if she calls, this is excellent for this situation.
If you follow the plan and stay away from your ex-girlfriend, it is likely that the fear of losing you will make her contact you. However, when you pick her calls, or she visits you:
- Let her lead the conversation
- Make sure to act happy and cheerful
- Make sure you keep the conversation short
- End the conversation first. Say something like:
- I am going out with a friend, I will call you later
- It was nice talking to you, but I have to…………..
- Take time to call her back. Do not be eager to call her; wait at least a day.
The dont’s when your girlfriend contacts you.
- Act angry and depressed
- Be immature, telling her how many women you are sleeping with
- Talk about the relationship at all
- Ask her whether she is dating or sleeping with someone else
- Beg her to give you another chance
If she does not contact you, you will contact her at the end of the ‘no contact’ four week’s period
4. Be honest about why the relationship broke up
If you hope to build a healthy relationship with your ex-girlfriend ever again, you must admit that you messed up. Have you been treating her right, or have you:
- Been neglecting her, either subtly by not listening to her, or by disrespecting her?
- Were you perhaps insecure and jealous?
- Might you have been manipulative and controlling?
- Did you cheat on her?
Whatever it is you were doing, you might have thought that you were getting away with it but were not. The things she shrugged off from day to day built to a crescendo and she decided that she deserved to be treated better.
5. Take time to build yourself up
Working on your inner demons. So, hit the gym, take some classes, and revive your passions and hobbies.
Take time and learn the tools and skills of keeping a healthy relationship and increase your level of awareness. This should not be a wasted opportunity; ensure you work on making yourself better.
One of the biggest mistakes that guys make is thinking that they have nothing to change about themselves. This is a huge lie. No matter how many girls are drooling over you, you must continually strive towards becoming a better version of yourself.
6. Do not dwell on the breakup
Talk about the good times and great memories and what changed in your lives after the breakup.
7. Discuss everything: even the difficult subject
Do not avoid the difficult topics. Anything that you do not deal with conclusively will remain the elephant in the room. This is an opportunity to deal with all those things that you previously buried under the rag.
8. Move forward
A real gentleman learns from his mistakes, accepts his past, and moves on. Do not dwell on the mistakes you made in your earlier relationship with your ex-girlfriend. You cannot change the past.
And the truth is sometimes you have to make mistakes in a relationship to learn. It’s simply learning ‘the hard way.’
Not the final goodbye
Thanks for reading this guide on how to get over your ex girlfriend. If you have any questions you can contact me here.