“HOW DO I APPROACH A WOMAN?” IS probably the most common question asked by single guys everywhere.
The answer to successfully approaching a woman exists in your attitude.
And when I say attitude, I also mean your mindset/outlook/ethos.
It is your attitude when trying to attract a woman that determines how much success you will have. And this is where many guys go wrong; they try to figure out the appropriate pickup line, the perfect body language, or the classic joke.
Forget all that.
The only thing that matters when approaching a woman you like is your attitude. Develop the right attitude, and it will not matter how old, broke, fat, or intelligent you are.
As long as you have the wrong attitude: you think she is better than you, you feel that you do not deserve her, and doubt your abilities to attract her, you stand no chance.
Now is the time to get into the right mindset, get out there, and start meeting those remarkable women.
Confidence is a strong presence and purpose in a guy that is often contagious.
Scientifically, confidence plays into women’s desire to want to mate with the leader of a pack. When a guy is confident, he makes those around him feed off his energy and feel empowered. Confidence draws girls in because it communicates that you are a guy worth liking.
The girl wants you to take the lead, but you cannot lead without confidence. If you have ever asked a girl ‘Where would you like to go?’ Most probably, you received the answer, ‘I don’t know. Why don’t you pick somewhere?’ In other words, she wants you to lead, even if she will probably never tell you.
Women want a man who can make plans and reach a decision. Even if she disagrees with your decision, she will tell you, but she will always respect that you take the lead.
From asking the girl out to making a move, to initiating sex… it will be your job to lead.
Remember, fortune respects the bold.
Conviction is powerful. When you are approaching a girl, you must believe that you deserve her and you can win her over. Many guys are very good at coming up with excuses not to approach attractive girls:
- She probably has a boyfriend.
- She’s out of my league
- I don’t want to make a fool of myself
- She is probably sick of guys hitting on her
If you are not convinced that you can win girls over, you will always stand in the way of meeting amazing women.
There a huge difference between thinking, ‘I am the prize’ and ‘I am not good enough for the girl.’
One writer noted that the men of the previous generations when narrating how they met their wives always say something like:
“I noticed her in a local charity event in the neighborhood. I had never seen her before, but she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She just lit up the room. I knew there, and then that I was going to marry her……’
This is the conviction that we are talking about. Having this kind of self-assurance that you are worthy of the girl is great. It gives you the confidence that you need to approach any girl and tell her how you feel.
Many guys think that women want to be with bad guys, but they could not be further from the truth. Girls are attracted to a man who shows them respect.
Some guys are yet to realize that yelling across the street, grabbing girls to dance and harassing them in public does not earn their attraction.
In fact here are some counter-intuitive ways that will show her you respect her and get her attention…
When you approach a girl, apologize for bothering her before you say anything else. “Pardon me for interrupting…” “Excuse me, but…”
The next step is to introduce yourself so that she knows who you are. Do not launch into a speech you have planned before at least introducing yourself. “My name is Tom and I ….”
Choose your compliments wisely
The easiest way to make a girl feel insulted is by commenting on her body. Choose you compliments wisely otherwise, you will end up sounding like a jerk and offending the girl.
TIP – Comment on something she has done/chosen/earned. “I couldn’t help but notice the way you…”
Accept her decision
At any point during your interaction with a girl, you may be met with resistance. If she says no, do not be rude or mean about it. Tell her it was nice meeting her and be on your way.
Approach a woman with respect because if she respects herself, she is not going to accept anything less from you.
Mystery brings excitement, uncertainty, and anticipation. Do not be a predictable guy doing what every other guy out there is doing. Be spontaneous and add some mystery to your ways.
If you are mysterious, it also eliminates the risk of coming across as needy or desperate. Surprising the girl with unexpected gestures will make her attracted to you.
Also, do not lay it all on the table during your first meeting with a girl. Keep a little to yourself so that you can intrigue her and make her want to know more about you. You should always send the message that there is more to you than meets the eye.
Many guys cannot keep themselves from flirting with every girl around them. You are eyeing a particular girl, and yet you are flirting with other women around her. What message are you sending her? That you are not ready for a committed relationship; that you are addicted to the attention; you are selfish, and you will neglect her in future?
Do not show attention to other women
If you are clearly interested in a girl, do not give any attention to other women. When a girl realizes that you have eyes only for her, she cannot resist.
You can interact and socialize with other women but if there is a girl you like around, ensure that she gets the message that you only have eyes for her.
If you clearly send this message you can make her feel like the sexiest woman in the room, and she will definitely be interested in you:
- Do not look other women up and down in front of her.
- Do not watch other girls walk away
- Ensure she is an integral part of the conversation
- Acknowledge her more than the other women around.
Unfortunately, a lot of information out there on how to attract women is based on playing games. However, the games always end up more hurtful than attractive and women have become attuned to whether you are being yourself or not.
A girl will be more attracted to you when she is assured of not falling in love with a man who turns out completely different once he feels like he has her in his grip.
Many guys do not know how to hold back their desire for a girl. They come on entirely too strong too fast. They want to speed up their romantic and sexual encounters. Unfortunately, women are more process-oriented, and they are keen on the dates, conversations, and emotions.
Experts say that a guy can decide if he wants to have sex with a girl within a few seconds and he immediately shifts into finish line mode. Girls, on the other hand, take time to decide if they like a man because they take a lot of things into consideration.
In the initial stages, a girl just wants to have a good time. If you throw too much affection too fast, too soon, you will scare her off.
Take your time to ensure a girl is comfortable with you and feels secure before you can broach the subject of intimacy. Your interaction will be more meaningful when you allow it to develop organically.
Have the attitude that you are taking a risk, like others that you have taken in other areas of your life. No guy goes ten for ten when approaching women.
This attitude will help you not to take rejection as a judgment on you as a person. If you allow rejection to shatter your self-esteem, you will never find that special woman.
So this is the right attitude when approaching a woman: it is a risk and rejection has nothing to do with you.
It is not your fault. It was probably bad timing, or she was having a bad day, or you probably resembled her nasty boyfriend (Yes, it could happen). Expecting success all the time is setting yourself up for emotional paralysis.
I hope this article has answered some of your questions on how to approach a woman.