DID YOU KNOW communication is 7% words, 38% tone of voice, and 55% non-verbal cues? A study by UCLA indicated that we communicate our feelings and attitudes more through body language than words. This is even much more important in relationships, considering that women tune into the emotional messages that guys convey:
- When you sit, do you slouch your shoulders or are you upright?
- Do you walk with your head high, or do you look down?
- When meeting new people, do you relax or get nervous and uptight?
What do all these have to do with attracting women?
Your body language communicates power and confidence or insecurity and low self-esteem. Even when you’re not thinking about it.
If you carry yourself with power, women will assume that you manifest that power; if you look at them in the face when speaking to them; they will believe that you have something of value to say.
What the research says
According to research, 57% of women indicate that their first impression of a man was his self-presentation and how he carried himself, 38% of the women said that they based their first impression on how the man spoke, and 7% on what the man actually said.
Many men communicate nervousness, desperation, and sleaziness without even realizing it. Unfortunately, it is hard to avoid these mistakes when you are meeting a beautiful woman for the first time. Your body betrays you; it responds to the interaction with wrong body language. Most of the rejection from women results from things that you are not even aware that you are doing.
The single most problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernard Shaw.
What is initial attraction all about
According to Stephen Nash, what initially attracts a woman to a man is his masculinity. Masculinity is translated to mean security.
The kind of a guy that a woman is attracted to is one who is secure: he does not need any external validation, he is not needy, and interacts with people in a relaxed way. Women can instinctively tell how secure you are through your body language.
Your efforts at attracting a woman should focus on making her feel comfortable, getting her to like you and getting her to let her guard down.
Body language: the difference that makes the difference.
There is a night and day difference between body language that communicates confidence and one which conveys insecurity. What is more, women can see, sense, and feel this difference immediately. Remember, if your body language is all wrong, you will be appraised, rejected, and declared unworthy long before you open your mouth.
By the time you think of starting a conversation, an emotional barrier has already been created, and your words will be bouncing off the invisible emotional shield. By then, the dominant thought in the woman’s mind is how fast she can get rid of you.
Here’s how to create attraction in women using your body language
Women inherently regard men as protectors. As such, you should have a strong posture. Your posture is an essential aspect of your body language. The qualities you want to communicate with your posture are confidence, dominance, but at the same time, approachability. Always ensure that your back is straight, and your shoulders are squared. Slouching your shoulder sends messages of anxiety and defeat.
When you are standing, always plant your feet at least shoulder width apart. Experts say that from an evolutionary perspective, this posture signals fertility, which women unconsciously look for in potential partners.
When it comes to your hands, it is better to leave them free at your sides with the palms open rather than having them crossed at your chest. Crossing your hands makes you appear closed off and nervous.
Always lean forward towards the woman you are talking to. This helps you to communicate interest, desire, excitement, and intrigue. She will unconsciously be pulled to you.
Leaning back communicates distraction and disinterest. Also, facing your feet towards your date shows that your attention is on the woman while crossing your legs indicates that you are relaxed and confident.
The way you move is as important as the way you stand. When you walk, walk deliberately with a purpose. Do not walk in a rush, but do not be a turtle. You want your movement to communicate directness and confidence.
Therefore, you must learn to control your flow. You will never meet a confident guy with Restless Leg Syndrome. Slowing down presents the world with a more confident version of yourself.
When you get into a room, you want to slide in there gently like a summer breeze. This will add calmness and elegance to your movement.
The way you move is your autograph in motion – Leil Lowrides
Maintaining intense eye contact is one of the most important aspects of attracting a woman. When seeking to attract a woman, do not settle for the weak, polite eye contact. Aim for a strong eye contact that injects sexual tension.
As a man, it is your job to create sexual tension, whereas, it is a woman’s responsibility to deflect the sexual tension through polite eye contact. Do not do her job for her.
Fact: When you look a woman in the eyes, a hormone called phenylethylamine is released. This is the hormone that induces the feeling of falling in love.
Holding eye contact with a woman immediately communicates status, sexuality, dominance, confidence, and fearlessness. Remember, if you make eye contact with a girl, whoever looks away first is the least dominant one.
Feminine energy is submissive; masculine energy is dominant. Which one do you want to be?
During a conversation with a woman, well-timed eye contact increases the connection between the two of you. Looking away for too long will make you appear nervous and uncomfortable.
A smile is very powerful when used effectively. Smiling to a woman communicates that you are available and approachable. Research indicates that women respond to the smile rather than the whiteness of the teeth or even the shape of the smile. Do not worry if your teeth do not perfectly align. A smile is a smile!
Fun facts: Women are innately intimidated by men: Men are taller, stronger, bigger, and faster than the average woman. Your smile disarms the woman. It communicates that you are fun, spontaneous, positive, sociable, approachable, and harmless.
A smile is contagious. When you smile, it literally forces the other person to smile because of the mirror neurons in her brain.
Smiling at a woman makes her feel good, and she will associate ‘feeling good’ with being around you.
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
Studies have shown that a woman’s sense of smell is up to 100 times more powerful than that of a man. They also reveal that there is a connection between a woman’s olfactory glands and her Limbic system – the part of the brain that is responsible for feelings of attraction and lust. By smelling good, you can trigger a woman’s limbic system and get her to fall for you:
- Shower Daily
- Brush your teeth thoroughly including the back of the tongue.
- Floss your teeth daily.
- Use deodorant and a touch of cologne to take your game a notch higher.
Take up space
Another definite way to express confidence is by taking up space. You do not want to be the guy who shrinks into the background and tries not to stand out; women will never notice you.
An excellent trick to occupying space is viewing everything within three feet of you as being in your personal ‘party bubble.’ This is a territorial thing that people notice unconsciously. When you take up space, in a room, people automatically conclude that you are the alpha male and that you are the most fun.
Leverage on her body language
One of the best ways to get her to start warming to you is to leverage her body language. Here are two of the more common ways you can do this.
You can mirror her. This simply means that you copy the behavior of your target woman: Facial expressions, hand gestures, mood, and body movements. By replicating a woman’s body language, you are sending familiarity signals to her brain.
Research shows that a woman’s brain cannot consciously ignore body language that suggests familiarity. For instance, if you notice that she is a little down, you can mirror her mood and tell her, “Is there something on your mind? Let’s go for a walk and talk or forget about it.”
Mirroring works well in inducing attraction because the conscious mind cannot process it.
TIP – Mirroring is best done at the subconscious level. You might notice it but do not bring it up in conversation or make awkward movements simply to copy body language.
In some ways, this is the opposite of mirroring. Basically, instead of the both of you following each others body language, you do the opposite when it makes sense.
In the image above, the woman is sitting on the bar, the man behind the bar (manager/bartender) is playfully pretending to tell her that she shouldn’t do that.
Playfully is really the name of the game here.
One last fact:
Scientists say that the part of the brain that is responsible for romantic feelings -the limbic system- is primitive, and recognizes neither reason nor language. It is also called the ‘Lizard Brain’ because it bears a resemblance to the brain of the reptiles. It is impulsive and only knows emotions.
Scientists now think that the limbic system reaches its decisions through cues in behavior and body language as opposed to words. It will do you good to always to remember this: when you are dealing with a woman, she does not care much what is actually said; she cares about how she feels; how you make her feel.
Thanks for reading this guide on How to Attract Women with Body Language. If you have a comment or question, you can contact me here.